It’s with absolute, unbridled glee that I stalk into the bedroom, flipping the switch on and sending the bright light spilling out across the room.
“Rise and shine, sleeping beauty,” I sing. “Or should I call you Maleficent?”
On second thoughts, that’s a fucking disservice to Maleficent.
Alicia sticks her head up, looking like a fucking horror story with yet another garish load of goop gunked on her face. This one is bright pink.
“What the hell, Jax!” she screeches. “Do none of you understand how important it is to get eight hours of sleep?”
“Oh, I do.” It’s with sheer delight that I rip off the covers, sending Alicia scrambling as I grab her ankle and yank her off. She lands in an inelegant sprawl in the middle with a yelp, blinking up at me. A cucumber slice slides into her goop, giving her a demented zombie flamenco look that actually suits her personality.
“Time to go home, crazy flamenco girl.” Whistling, I yank out her suitcases from under the bed, tossing shit in without looking at it. When I reach for the drawers, Alicia screams, diving after me and latching onto my arm. “That’s my underwear, you illiterate toad!”
“Ew.” Giving the drawer a wide berth, I keep throwing everything I can see that might belong to the she-witch onto the bed. Alicia stares at me, a bit of comprehension finally dawning in that empty little head of hers.
“You can’t throw me out,” she says haughtily. “We have an agreement.”
“Yeah, with your dad.” Zipping up a case, I take nothing but pleasure as I yank it out to the hall and toss it over the railing. Something smashes underneath.
Eh. Worth it.
Alicia wails, running out to look. “You’ve gone mad,” she hisses, coming back in and snatching away the shoes in my hand as she hugs them to her chest. “Stark, raving mad, Jax Cohen!”
“Oh, no.” I wag my finger at her, enjoying the moment far too much. “You are most definitely the psycho bitch in this non-existent enemalationship, Alicia. And it’s time to get the fuck out of our house.”
She frowns. “What’s an enema….lationship?”
I roll my eyes. “Obviously, it’s a mix-up of enemies and relationship. Also, an enema is where they inject liquid up your ass so you spray everywhere.”
I throw the second case, enjoying the look on her face as it breaks open. “You’re an enema in human form and I am flushing you thefuckout.”
Does that make sense? Maybe not. It makes sense in my head, anyway.
I hear a shout from downstairs, a curse. “Jax!” Gray’s bellow is furious. “You broke my model!”
I wince. Shit. Might’ve got a little carried away.
Scanning the room, I check everything is gone before I turn to Alicia. She squawks as I approach, flapping her hands at me in a way that makes absolutely not an iota of difference as I flip her over my shoulder.
She screams at me the entire way down the stairs, beating at my back like a mosquito with an attitude problem.
“If it makes you feel better,” I say casually when she pauses for breath, “I voted to sling you over the wall. But your father wants you home, so I’m afraid it’s goodbye for now, Alicia.”
I dump her on the doorstep, grabbing the cases and chucking them out after her.
Her hair is wild, sticking up in gloopy pink clumps as she wails. “How do I get home?”
“You’re an inventive little thing,” I shoot back. “I’m sure you’ll work it out.”
“Jax!”
“Don’t let the gates hit you in the ass on the way out!” I call cheerfully, before I slam the door shut hard enough to rattle the walls.
I stick my hand in my pockets and turn to Logan and Gray. They both stare at me, lost for words, and I grin.
“Just takin’ out the trash.”
God, that felt good. I bounce on my toes as I point to the stairs, both of them looking a bit shell shocked as they follow my finger.
