I feel his flinch, his hand on my neck slipping away as he takes a deep breath before he leans in, his cheek smooth as he traces the same path as his pack members before him. A low groan rumbles in his chest, his hand becoming a tight band as he yanks me tightly against him, his breathing harsh against my skin.
“Jesus. Your scent—,”
It’s enough. Steeling myself, I reach up my arms and push him away. He staggers, rubbing a hand roughly down his face as he glances away.
“Shit – Sienna—,”
“Go.” I didn’t know I could be this cold. Could feel this cold. “Consider itover with.”
He swallows. “I deserve that.”
And then he leaves me, too. I don’t watch, the muttering of the crowd and the steady sobs of my mother enough to tell me exactly what is happening right now.
My eyes stay firmly fixed on the ground until a silhouette moves into view. “Sienna?”
Bracing myself, I glance up and into a pair of soulful chestnut eyes. Honey blonde hair falls in loose curls to Logan Cohen’s shoulders, a hint of dark stubble not doing enough to hide the hint of a dimple. But he’s not smiling now.
Logan shifts on his feet, and I stare him out. However uncomfortable he feels, it’s nothing compared to how I feel right now.
Finally, he swallows, and takes a step forward. And it’s the pain on his face, the realization of how desperately he doesn’t want to be here, that tips me over the edge.
I take a step away from him, and he stops, his outstretched hand dropping to the side.
“Sienna.” His voice is gruffer than I expected. Tristan’s was smooth, like the whiskey scent embedded into his skin. And mine now, I guess. Jax’s voice holds the promise of music in every word, like he’s about to launch into the songs he’s so well-known for. And Grayson, he was steady. Measured.
But I don’t know why I’m focusing so hard on their voices. Or why I’m still standing here, when they so clearly don’t want me. I can’t force myself on them, Soul Bonded or not.
Logan takes another step, and I wave him off. “I need a minute.”
Turning away from the sight of him, so close and yet so fucking far away, I stare blindly at the white gauze hanging between the pillars behind us until they blur, the tears starting to fall.
I tried so hard to hold out, to stand here and not let any of them see how badly this hurts. But I can’t keep it in anymore.
I already feel like Ineedthem. The need is a pulsing, pacing creature inside me. And it’s not going anywhere, not now that I’ve found them. This craving will only get worse, this desire to be close to my Bonded. My parents don’t leave each other’s side.It hurts more the longer you’re separated,my mother told me once.But it doesn’t matter, because there’s nowhere else I’d rather be.
My hand claws at my throat. I can’t breathe. I’m drowning on dry land; there’s not enough air and I can’t fucking breathe. White spots dance in front of me as a pair of hands land on my shoulder, spinning me around and folding me into them.
“Shhh, Sienna.” Logan is rocking me slowly, my face buried against his chest, his shirt growing damp as he whispers my name over and over. I breathe him in, sucking down lemon sherbet like an addict searching out my next fix, my hands clawing into his shirt.
“I—I can’t-,”
I can’t stop.
“You’re alright.” Logan continues to rock me. “This is fucked up, but you can’t stop, Sienna. Not now you’ve refused to withdraw.”
If I do, I’ll fail the Trial and forfeit my chance at any future rematch. I gave up my one and only chance when I told Ollena I’d carry on. I won’t have another.
“One more,” Logan whispers. His rocking slows, then stops, but we don’t move. “Just one more, sweetheart. Then we can leave. I’m so sorry.”
I suck down a few more breaths until the shuddering stops, pushing him back with a nod. His hands slip to my face as he wipes my wet cheeks. “Are you ready?”
In answer, I open myself for him, my neck tilting once more for him to layer his scent into my skin.
“Good girl,” he breathes as he leans in. The twisting, clenching in my abdomen spikes, and a low whine slips out. Logan freezes, his skin warm against mine. “Sienna?”
“Do it. Now, please,” I force out through the mortification.
Sure, Sienna. Cry all over the Soul Bonded who is very publically rejecting you and then whine when he rubs his face in your neck.
