“Not even a little,” he admits wryly. “Just chaos, unfortunately.” He gestures to an examination table in the corner. “Take a seat.”
Slowly, I move over to the padded bench and pull myself up. My legs dangle over the edge as Max moves around, pulling a machine towards me.
“This is an ultrasound machine,” he explains. “I’ll use this rod to move over your stomach, and we’ll be able to see what’s happening on the screen.”
Nerves swirl in my stomach. “I’ll be able to see them?”
Max nods, watching me with understanding in his brown eyes.
“We’ll take it slow, okay?” he whispers. “If you want to stop, we can stop.”
Resolve firms my spine. I can do this.I want to do this.
“I don’t want to hide anymore,” I whisper back.
He touches my hand before glancing down to my nightgown and clearing his throat.
“I’ll need to scan your abdomen.”
A flush of heat tickles my neck.
“Ah… okay.”
Trying not to blush, I lift the edge of the gown until it’s above my underwear. Max directs me to lie back with a gentle hand on my shoulder, his cheeks stained with red as he squeezes some jelly onto the rod in his hand.
“This is going to be cold,” he warns. “Are you ready?”
He leans forward on my nod, and I inhale sharply at the coolness on my skin as he reaches over me and flicks the machine on.
Max spends a minute fiddling with the buttons before a black screen pops up. I close my eyes and try to breathe.
Time to face the inevitable.
My eyes fly open at the whooshing noise. It sounds like…
“Here they are,” Max smiles softly.
I stare at the screen, where an unmistakable baby-shaped blob bobs around on the screen, the sound of a heartbeat pulsing through the air. My hand slips down to gently rest on my stomach. An ache appears at the back of my throat and behind my eyes.
“Hello,” I whisper. Tears begin to slide down my face, and Max’s fingers grip mine, offering his silent strength. I give him a watery smile as we both watch the screen.
When he pulls his hand out of my grip, my hand shoots out to wrap around his wrist.
“Wait, please,” I beg. I’m not ready to let this feeling go just yet.
He gives me a crooked grin. “Shall we look at the other one?”
Oh my god. I’m having two babies. I nod, wordlessly waiting for him to find the second heartbeat. The whoosh starts back up again, and my tears start to fall faster, the ache in my throat rippling into full-blown agony.
This is real. This is really and truly happening.
I barely register Max pulling the machine back and lifting me onto his lap. His arms come around me and he rocks me as I sob into his chest.
“I can’t do this, Max,”
His hand strokes over my hair. “I think you could do anything you put your mind to,” he says gently.
Shaking my head abruptly, I brush off his words.
