“I’m going to have to cut it,” I whisper. My voice wobbles at the thought.
It’s so stupid, I know. It’s onlyhair. What does it matter? But I’ve always loved my curly hair.
One more thing they’re taking from me.
Leah frowns. “Can I have a look?”
At my nod, she moves across to me and starts working her hands through my hair, feeling the knots. “I think I can get these out,” she announces.
“You can?” I ask hopefully.
“Yep. I have spray and conditioner that I use. I’ll go and grab it now.”
She leaves the room and I lean my head back against the tub with a sigh.
Staring at the ceiling, I ignore the small tug I feel to look down. I don’twantto see it. I don’t want to be reminded of exactly how much my body doesn’t belong to me anymore.
You can’t hide from it forever.
Fucking watch me.
Rationally, I know that I can’t put off thinking about this for much longer. But a little time is all I need. Just a small amount, enough to remember who I am.
Not86-fucking-4.
Not just an omega.
Not a fucking breeding mare to be strapped to a cross for faceless alphas to rut on.
Just me. Ava.
A tear plops into the bathwater. Then another.
When Leah walks back in with her arms full of products, I’m having a full-blown snot session in the bath. I try to scrub my cheeks clean, but her eyes widen and I can’t hold it back. I make a sound that’s between a honk and a wail, and Leah’s face creases in sympathy.
“Oh, sweetheart.” Ignoring my flailing, she hauls me into a hug, ignoring the water sloshing all over the floor. It takes me a minute, but I’m crying raggedly into her shoulder, covering her in bathwater and tears as I sob out my frustrations.
I’m not sure how long I cry, but Leah doesn’t move, rubbing her hand over my back until I pull my head away and she steps back.
I bury my face in my hands. “I’m so sorry,” I whisper. I’m fucking mortified. I just met this beta, and within twenty minutes I’ve fallen apart in front of her.
Leah gives me a stern look. “You listen to me,” she says firmly. “I don’t know all the details, and I don’t need to unlessyouwant to tell me. But I do know that you’ve been through more hell in the last two years than most people will ever see in a lifetime. And it’s not even over yet.” Her eyes fall to my stomach, and a fresh bout of tears threatens.
“I know I kind of steamrolled in here, but I’ve known you for five minutes, and I can just tell that we’re going to be friends. You wanted to hide away, but youdidn’t,Ava,” she continues.
“Now you’ve got a whole lot of shit on your plate, and we’re going to help you. We’re not going out of our way, you’re not disturbing our lives and you arenotan inconvenience to us in any way. So if you want to cry, scream, eat ice-cream, smash plates, I am here forallof that. If you just want to lie down and sleep for a week, I’m up for that too.”
She finishes and takes a deep breath. “Was that too much?” she asks sheepishly. “I really do have a stack of plates we can throw, though. I saw it on a video once.”
I stare up at her, bemused, before shaking my head.
“No,” I say, an unexpected smile lifting the corners of my lips. “I’d say that was pretty much perfect, actually.”
I’ll hold off on any plate throwing for now though.
ChapterTwenty-Five
Nikolai
