Coming to a pause in front of her, I get everything I need ready, noting her breathing stop as I get closer. When I glance at her face, her eyes are squeezed closed, tears gently dripping from her eyelids and down into her hair.
My hand reaches out impulsively before I ball my fingers into a fist. She won’t welcome comfort right now. She doesn’t like having me so close to her.
Trauma response.
I swallow. I want to give her the space she needs, but those tubes need to come out.
“Are you ready?” I ask her gently.
Her eyes flick to the device in my hand and back to my face, wariness creeping back in.
“I’m not going to hurt you.” My whisper sounds like a vow in the quiet space, dropping between us like a rock.
She nods and closes her eyes.
ChapterNine
Ava
My body shakes as the unfamiliar alpha leans in closer to me. His scent soaks into me, a heavy dose of apple pie. Despite my fears, it’s strangely soothing.
Not an alpha, I lie to myself.A doctor. Just a normal, beta doctor.
Focusing on my breathing, I try to keep it even as he fusses with the pipe attached to my throat. My mind still feels like cotton wool, and I can’t look around because of the tube, so I push down the feelings swirling inside me and focus on the doctor.
His slightly bushy, dark eyebrows furrow as he writes something down on a clipboard. Russet hair falls over his forehead and into his eyes as he pushes it away impatiently. Earthy brown eyes lift and catch me watching him, and a slight red flush colors his cheeks.
If I were a different girl, a beta, then I’d probably call him handsome. But I’m not a different girl. All I feel is empty. The most hideous of monsters can sit behind a charming smile. I move my eyes to the ceiling and keep them there.
Just breathe. In, out, in, out. Don’t go back to sleep.
His voice rumbles as he tries to distract me. When I ignore him, his voice takes on a questioning lilt, and I nod.Whatever.Just get on with it.
Although I don’t know why I want them out. The longer they keep me here, the longer I stay away fromthere.
Memories threaten to break through, and I scrunch my eyes closed. Images flicker like a projector screen, a mixture of hands and faces and alphas and burning and—
The whimper slips out, and the doctor pauses. His brown eyes soften as he watches me.
“You still with me?” he murmurs quietly.
I don’t want my concentration to break, so I ignore him again. When he pulls back, I could scream and cry with relief at the same time. I just want him to get on with it.
A hand comes to rest gently on my arm.
Nausea rises, twisting my stomach viciously.Don’t touch me.
The restraints pull against my arms as my fists clench. I swing my eyes to him with a glare, and he takes a step back, hands raised in apology as he watches me.
Glancing away from me, he inhales deeply and blows out a breath.
“Look,” he says roughly. “I know that you’ve been through something that nobody should have to go through. Something that I will never be able to understand. And I know that the last person you want around you right now is an alpha.”
My flinch draws his eyes to mine. He takes a small step closer.
“I amsorry,” he whispers fiercely, his voice low but determined. “I am so fucking sorry that this has happened to you. I promise, I only want to help.”
Sincerity rings through his tone.
