“By who, exactly?” Percy scoffed.
Leaving the boys to patch up their relationship, I followed Seraphim’s fire back to camp. Eleos stuck quietly by my side until we found ourselves beneath the light of numerous torches, guarding the refugee camp from the dark.
Squeezing my shoulder, Seraphim took her leave. “Goodnight, you two.”
“Goodnight,” Eleos said distractedly, guiding me toward a lonely tent nestled against the trees. “Describe the pain to me again.”
Following him inside, I combed out my hair. “From the magic? It’s hard to describe.” Closing my eyes, I recalled the sensation. “Like my soul was being siphoned out.”
“I’ve never heard anything like that.” He dropped his bag in the corner. “Magic doesn’t hurt. Even chthonics grow so accustomed to spilling their blood that it becomes subconscious.”
“Maybe it was only because it was my first time,” I suggested, watching him roll out his sleeping mat. “I should let you get some sleep.”
“Lady Aethra,” Eleos said quietly, “Would you stay with me tonight?”
“Are you sure?” I tried to lighten the mood. “I thought you liked your space. You always put your bedroll well away from ours.”
“Normally, I do.” His eyelids drooped heavily. “Tomorrow, we run back into danger. The one bastion of safety is gone.” Terror pooled in his irises. “Life doesn’t dispel the Empty. Not anymore. Nowhere is safe.”
I swallowed. We traveled to Therapne for shelter. But would it protect these people?
“I just want to hold you tonight. To know for a few hours, you’re safe.” He said, voice cracking.
“I don’t want to be alone either,” I said quietly.
Relieved, Eleos pulled off his cloak and dropped his satchel as though merely preparing for bed. Nothing in his body language indicated he intended to do anything but sleep.
Men had asked me to share a bed countless times. But never simply because they cared about me.
No one had ever cared about me.
Exhausted, I shrugged off my cloak and added it to the scant bedding, collapsing into a grateful heap. Eleos blew out the lantern and knelt beside me, draping his cloak over me like a bed sheet. Crawling onto the bedroll, he nestled beside me, arm wrapped tightly around my waist.
Twisting onto my back, I sought his eyes in the darkness. “You don’t need to feel guilty, El.”
He laughed breathily. “Seraphim got to you, didn’t she?”
“It’s true. You did the right thing.”
“I’ve never been particularly. . . moral, I suppose.” He pulled me closer, tracing a thumb across my stomach. “Had I saved that woman and her child, and lost you? I would’ve made the wrong choice.”
“But. . .”
“Some people weigh life on a scale.” Eleos continued. “No matter how much they love someone, the life of five strangers weighs more. The greater good supersedes desire.” He ran his fingers through my hair. “But we each have something we live for. Something that makes tomorrow worth seeing. I’d rather save those I love and lead this world to ruin than lose them and succeed.”
His words weighed heavily on my chest. What did I wake for? Before meeting Seraphim, I had roused for nothing and no one.
Did I want to protect the people I loved?
Or save this world?
Ideally, both. But I had little hope for either.
In the darkness, feeling the warmth of his body, I wondered if I should turn and kiss him. Say something. But the longer I lay there, in the comfort of his arms, I realized the last thing I wanted to make tonight about was sex. Rolling over, I felt his comforting presence against my back and closed my eyes.
Sex could come in better days, with smiles and laughs. Right now, all I wanted wasthis.
To be loved.
