The Guild had a saying. When someone vanishes, look instead for their corpse.
I fell to my knees, broken. Ainwir hadn’t found me by chance. Hadn’t betrayed me.
My eyes burned and tears flowed down my cheeks, one by one, until the dam burst and a racking sob burst from my chest. For I knew the truth Phaedrus had not voiced.
Ainwir hadlovedme.
And he was long dead.
29
Chapter 29
Isat on the cold floor long after the moon had risen into the sky. A strange mix of emotions boiled within me. Despondence weighed down my limbs like heavy steel; even rising seemed a pointless feat. But anger simmered within, heat building at the base of my throat.
Bowing my head, I let the weight drag me down. My fingers were still shaking from all the pain I’d experienced—both my own and others’.
A voice not my own whispered against my skull. “Lady Aethra?” Eleos’ voice.
My head snapped up. “Eleos? Are you alright?”
“. . .yes.”
Though I could not see his face, I could tell he was lying.
“No wonder I couldn’t read Lord Phaedrus.” He continued. “I chalked it up to training. ..”
“None of you got a good look at him,” I said, “It’s my fault.”
“It doesn’t matter now.” Eleos sounded strained and weak. “I forged a connection between us before I passed out. To say goodbye, if nothing else.”
I pulled my knees up and leaned against the door. “Phaedrus made me feel your pain. Someone. . . someone killed your sister, didn’t they?”
Nothingcame in response.
“Is that your secret? Because, if so-”
“I have no proof.” Eleos’ voice sounded fainter. “Her husband claimed she died in her sleep. Father and I knew better. Knew they’d been having arguments. Knew he was violent when drunk.” He paused. “At the time, I was certain he’d gone too far. Choked her. But he was second in rank only to my father in the clergy. So everyone patted him on the back and offered their condolences.”
“What did you do?”
“I didn’t kill him, Aethra. I wormed my way into his mind, made him pick up his own blade, and forced him to rip it across his throat.” Eleos hesitated. “I took joy in it. The horror on his face. The power I had over him.”
I swallowed. My throat was cracked and dry. “Anyone would feel the same, Eleos.”
“Maybe. But that was only the first of my sins.” He paused. “I can’t hold this connection much longer. Know this: Phaedrus is a psyche—born of compassion. He won’t hurt you.”
I wanted to protest, but I couldn’t. Phaedrus wished to destroy the world and everything in itbecauseof his overflowing compassion. And if my hunch was correct. . .
“Don’t be reckless, Aethra,” Eleos said. “I can feel your thoughts.”
“Hold on.” I thought, standing. “I’m coming.”
“I should have known. Be careful.” Eleos’ voice faded away, leaving me alone.
Wiping my face, I grabbed my satchel from its hook. Flipping through the contents, I found the prize I sought: the pants Seth had stolen for me. Worming out of my dress, I tossed it aside and pulled the pants on, then yanked a simple tunic over them. Binding my hair back, I wrapped a cloak around my shoulders and attached my coin purse to my belt.
Ainwir had taught me how to block psyches out. Closing my eyes and breathing slowly, I forged walls around my thoughts to keep my intentions hidden.
