“I—“
“Unless they make you feel better about yourself,” I add quickly. “If they help you feel more comfortable in your own skin, that’s different. But if you’re taking them because you think you need to be less of what you are to be accepted... then no. You don’t.”
“Holly…”
“I know that sounds super hypocritical coming from me, considering the circumstances. But I’ve never hated the thought of being an omega. If anything, I didn’t even know what it felt like to be an omega until I came here.” I realize I’m working out a fundamental truth about myself at the same time that I say the words. Hiding my dynamic has been a fundamental part of my life for so long that I never stopped to think about what I was really sacrificing for my career goals. “If it wouldn’t cost me my job and break my mother’s heart, then I would stop taking suppressants right now. We might have started hiding parts of ourselves because that was the best way to survive, but that doesn’t mean we have to do it forever.”
Kai’s fingers tighten around mine. The moonlight catches in his hair, turning the sun-bleached strands to silver. For once, he seems at a loss for words.
“Show me the rest,” I say, standing and tugging him up with me. “You said this feeds the other springs? Show me where people swim.”
He blinks, then nods, some of his usual energy returning. “This way. It’s not far.”
We follow another path that winds between massive boulders. The air grows warmer, more humid, and I catch the distinctive sulfur scent of hot springs. The path opens up to reveal a larger pool, maybe thirty feet across, steaming gently in the cool night air. Unlike the source pool, this one is surrounded by smooth rock shelves that form natural seating areas.
Heat from the pool rises into the air, warming it enough that it’s almost possible to pretend it isn’t the dead of winter.
“This is one of the lesser-known springs,” Kai explains. “Not as fancy as the public bathhouse, but more... intimate.”
The word hangs between us, charged with possibility.
“Does anyone else come here?” I ask, already shrugging out of my jacket.
Kai watches me, his eyes widening slightly. “Not really. I come occasionally, but no one else is ever here. It’s one of my better kept secrets.”
I kick off my shoes and peel off my socks. “Sounds perfect.”
He just watches me, transfixed as I pull my sweater over my head, leaving me in just my tank top and jeans. “It’s pretty cold out for a swim.”
I unbutton my jeans and slide them down my legs. The cool night air raises goosebumps on my skin, but the steam from the pool promises warmth.
“Are you going to join me?” I ask, standing in just my underwear and tank top.
Kai swallows visibly. “Holly, you don’t have to?—“
“I know.” I step closer to him, close enough to feel the heat radiating from his body. “I want to. Unless you don’t?”
“You have no fucking idea,” he whispers, echoing his words from earlier.
I reach up and trace the line of his jaw with my fingertips. “Then show me. Show me your kind of alpha.”
His good hand comes up to capture mine, pressing my palm against his cheek. For a breathless moment, we stand like that, connected by that simple touch. Then he leans down and kisses me.
It’s nothing like the desperate, heat-driven kisses we shared during my heat. This is gentle, almost reverent—his lips moving softly against mine, asking rather than demanding. I melt into it, my free hand coming up to tangle in his hair.
When we break apart, his eyes are darker, pupils dilated. “I’ve wanted to do that since the first time I saw you,” he admits.
“Why didn’t you?”
“Wasn’t sure if you wanted me to. Not like you want Noah and Grayson.” There’s no bitterness in his voice, just simple acceptance. “I’d rather miss out than do anything to hurt you.”
“I want all three of you,” I tell him. “Each in your own way.”
Something flares in his eyes at that—not the aggressive dominance he seems to fear in himself, but a quieter, steadier kind of confidence. He kisses me again, deeper this time, his tongue teasing along the seam of my lips until I open for him with a small sound of pleasure.
His bandaged hand rests lightly at my waist, careful not to apply pressure, while his good hand slides up my back, pulling me closer. I can feel him hardening against my stomach, his body responding despite whatever blockers he’s been taking.
“It’s cold,” I murmur against his lips. “Let’s get in the water.”
