I hesitate, guilt washing over me for the invasion of privacy. I should just take the first aid kit and go. But something makes me pick up the bottle, noting the recent fill date and the instructions to take it twice daily. The prescription is from Dr. Mercer, which does surprise me. Mercer doesn’t seem the type to support designation suppression for alphas.
Closing the cabinet, I head back downstairs with the first aid kit and my new knowledge weighing on me. Kai is still at the counter, looking pale but maintaining pressure on his wound.
“Found it,” I say, setting the first aid kit down and washing my hands thoroughly in the sink. “Let’s get you patched up.”
I work as quickly as I can, ignoring Kai’s creative swearing as I clean the wound with antiseptic. I’d prefer to stitch up the wound, but he won’t even consider the suggestion so I apply butterfly bandages to hold the edges together, and wrapping his hand with gauze. As I work, my mind keeps circling back to the pills in his bathroom.
Despite his constant flirting and innuendos, Kai hasn’t made any real moves toward me physically. Noah and Grayson have both been clearly interested in establishing the physical side of our relationship, but Kai seems content to cook for me, make me laugh, and generally take care of my non-sexual needs.
Which doesn’t track with what I know about alphas, especially unmated ones around an omega.
“All done,” I say, securing the bandage with medical tape. “Try to keep it dry for twenty-four hours. If it starts bleeding again, I’m going to have Grayson and Noah hold you down if you won’t let me give you stitches.”
“Yes, doctor.” He winks, but it lacks his usual sparkle. “Sorry about dinner. I was trying to make stir-fry.”
“I can finish it,” I offer, moving to clean up the bloody mess on the counter.
“Nah, you look exhausted. We can order pizza or something.”
I nod, disposing of the bloody towel and used medical supplies. The question about the pills burns in my throat, but I hesitate. It feels invasive, crossing a line I shouldn’t cross.
But we’re a pack now. And packs don’t keep secrets, do they?
“Kai,” I begin carefully, washing my hands again to buy time. “I saw something in your medicine cabinet.”
His cheerful expression freezes. “Oh?”
“I saw your rut blockers.” I turn to face him. “I wasn’t snooping, I promise. I just noticed them when I was getting the first-aid kit.”
Kai’s shoulders slump slightly. He leans against the counter, his bandaged hand cradled against his chest.
“Yeah, well. Cat’s out of the bag, I guess.” He attempts a smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. “Been taking them for a few years now.”
“Why?” The question comes out before I can stop it. “I mean, it’s your business, obviously. But I’m curious.”
He’s quiet for a long moment, his usual rapid-fire speech nowhere to be found. When he finally speaks, his voice is softer than I’ve ever heard it.
“I’ve never felt like an alpha. Not really.” He stares at the floor. “Everyone expects certain things from alphas, you know? Be aggressive. Be dominant. Take what you want. And I just... that’s not me.”
I lean against the counter beside him, close enough that our shoulders almost touch.
“It’s easier to suppress those urges entirely than to pretend to be something I’m not,” he continues. “With the pills, I don’t worry so much about wanting things I can’t have.”
“But you’re amazing,” I say, genuinely confused. “I’ve seen you with Noah and Grayson. With me. You’re caring and protective and?—“
“That’s different.” He interrupts, finally looking up at me. “That’s just...being a decent person. But when it comes to the other stuff—the alpha stuff—I freeze up.”
I think about how Kai is always the one to defuse tensions between Noah and Grayson. How he makes sure everyone is fed and comfortable. How he touches me casually but never pushes for more.
“What other stuff, exactly?” I ask gently.
He gestures vaguely with his good hand. “You know. The sex stuff. The dominance games. The posturing. I’m just not wired that way, I guess.”
“Have you ever been with an omega before?” The question feels intimate, but necessary.
“No.” He shakes his head. “Beta women, mostly. A few alpha women who were into the whole role-reversal thing.” He shrugs, looking almost apologetic on behalf of the women he’s been with. “The sex was fine. Nothing earth-shattering.”
I process this information, trying to understand. “So with me you don’t want…“
