Grayson stills beneath me, though his chest rises and falls rapidly with each breath. A rueful laugh escapes him, barely more than an exhale.
“Not going to happen, baby.”
His words seep through my heat-fogged brain like the slow creep of icy water soaking through my shoes in the rain. I blink at him, uncomprehending.
“What? Why?” The question comes out plaintive, childish in a way that would make me cringe if I were still lucid enough to care. “I need it.”
Instead of answering, Grayson shifts me slightly in his lap, one hand sliding up to cup my face. His thumb traces my lower lip, the gentle touch at odds with the rigid tension evident in every line of his body.
“Breathe,” he murmurs, his voice a low rumble that I feel more than hear.
I try to comply, drawing in a shaky breath that does nothing to cool the fire in my veins. His free hand strokes down my back in long, soothing motions, but the touch only intensifies my need.
“You’re not thinking clearly,” Grayson says, his eyes—a stormy gray that reminds me of mountain skies before a blizzard—fixed intently on mine. “We didn’t establish any boundaries before your heat started. You can’t consent like this.”
I stare at him, momentarily shocked out of my desperate haze. “What are you talking about? I’m consenting right now!” To emphasize my point, I roll my hips against his, feeling a surge of satisfaction when his breath catches.
Grayson groans, his fingers tightening on my waist, but he doesn’t move to take things further. “Holly?—“
“Please,” I interrupt, desperation clawing at me. “I’ve never—I’ve never felt anything like this before. It’s horrible, and I know you can make it stop.”
Tears spring to my eyes, born of frustration and need and the overwhelming vulnerability of my situation. I’ve spent my entire life in control—of my body, my emotions, my future. Now I’m at the mercy of biology, reduced to begging a virtual stranger for relief.
“Wait.” Grayson’s brow furrows, his expression shifting from controlled desire to something more complex. “What do you mean, you’venever felt anything like this before?”
I roll my eyes, impatience cutting through my desperation. “I’m not a virgin, if that’s what you’re asking.”
His frown deepens. “That’s not what I meant.”
“Then what?” I demand, squirming in his lap, seeking friction he seems determined to deny me.
“You’ve never experienced a heat before? Not even a partial one?”
The question is confusing, and all I can think about is how much I want to bury my face in his neck and drag my teeth along his collarbone until I can taste the amazing scent of him. “I told you, I’ve been on suppressants.”
“For how long?”
“Forever.” I try to kiss him again, to end this frustrating interrogation, but Grayson holds me firmly in place as I groan in frustration. “I don’t know…since before puberty. Ten, maybe?”
“And the suppressants have always worked perfectly? No breakthrough symptoms? No mini-heats?”
I shake my head, increasingly frustrated by his persistence. “I’ve scheduled heat-breaking sessions a few times.”
Grayson’s scarred jaw tightens. “What the hell is heat-breaking?”
When I explain that there are plenty of alphas willing to be on call for omegas with no strings attached, his expression darkens.
“It’s perfectly safe and?—“
“Were you actually in heat with these damnheat-breakers?” Grayson interrupts, sound disgusted by alphas he’ll never meet. “Had you stopped taking suppressants and whatever black market bullshit you’ve been using?”
Indignation flares through me, momentarily eclipsing even my desperate need. “My medication isn’t bullshit. It’s a traditional Chinese medicine that’s been used for generations to?—“
My words cut off in a startled cry as Grayson’s hand dips between my legs, pressing against my bare core with just enough pressure to send sparks shooting up my spine.
“Answer the question,” he growls, his voice dropping to a register that makes me shiver despite my annoyance.
“No,” I admit, the word catching on a gasp as his fingers move in slow, deliberate circles. “I’ve never stopped taking my medication. Not since I first presented.”
