“What do I have? I mean, honestly? I don’t own anything. Nothing is mine. Everything I have is Father’s.”
“And you should be grateful for those things.”
“I want my own things, Mom. I want to own my own things. I want to buy an outfit I paid for, not one you hand-picked for me.” I don’t know why this is so hard for her to understand. I just want to be my own person.
“Our lives were dealt to us long ago, River. Nothing is ours. Nothing ever is or ever will be. This is what we do. Who we are. You should truly get on board with that before you marry,” she snaps before turning and heading for the door. I watch her leave,closing the door behind her before I huff out a breath. I’ll never accept that this is it. I want more. So much more out of life.
I drop onto the bed and rest my head in my hands. I can’t control any of this, and I don’t know why I try. She’s right. I should just accept this for what it is. I should be happy, but I can’t be.
Maybe it’s time I disappear. Maybe it’s time for me to do what’s best for me.
Chapter 3
Royal
“It’s big-time money, Royal. You can take a break from fighting,” Jeremy tells me.
“It’s illegal as fuck,” I remind him as I bring my cigarette to my lips and inhale.
“So is fighting, but you do it.”
“This would be jail time if we get caught,” I remind him.
“So is fighting.”
“This is worse,” I add. “Besides, if I’m in jail, who’s going to take care of April?”
“Royal, this could cover April for a long time. And you too. We could get a place that isn’t this roach-infested hotel,” he says. I get the appeal, and the thought had crossed my mind more than once, but kidnapping and ransom isn’t really what we do.
“It’s dangerous.”
“Our lives are dangerous. Don’t give me that shit,” he argues. I smirk at him.
“You’re right. But this is something that takes time, Jeremy. We can’t just go out and snatch someone off the streets. We have to plan it out, get things in order.”
“I know that.”
“And who’s to say that they don’t call the cops? How can we be sure they won’t?”
“We don’t know that for sure unless we can get some kind of leverage on them.”
“You’re talking some high-profile shit,” I chuckle.
“I’m talking money, Royal. Enough for us to live for a while. Enough for April to survive on.” Knowing that April is taken care of for a while would be nice. Knowing she has money to fall back on would be a plus.
“I don’t know, man,” I say, scratching my jaw. “There are only two of us.”
“But we’re smart, Royal.”
“That is true. But smart doesn’t mean shit when it comes to asking for ransom. The cops get involved in it, and we’re fucked,” I remind him. He sighs as he sits back in the chair and closes his eyes. I know he wants money. I know he wants out of this place just as much as I do, but at what cost? Kidnapping and ransom is a whole different ballgame, and we both know it.
There’s so much that has to go into planning something like that. Time, space. Things we don’t really have. Where would we keep this person? Who the hell would we take? How do we know that anyone would actually pay the ransom? There are a lot of unknowns for us to take a risk like this.
“I think it’s worth a shot,” Jeremy says, lifting his head to look at me.
“I’m not against it. Don’t get me wrong. It’s just not something we decide on overnight. We’d have to think this through. Play by fucking play.”
“And we can do that. We have time, Roy.” I inhale another drag from my cigarette and blow smoke into the air.
