“I know you didn’t . . .” I placed my hand over my chest in the most dramatic way I could muster.
He mirrored my movement.
“I know I did.”
The tone of his voice matched mine as he mocked me like he hadn’t just gone from zero to one hundred in whatever kind of relationship we were building.
“I like sex,” I felt the need to say since Amari tapped into a space I had never been fully comfortable talking about, even with those closest to me.
“Are you sure your cooch doesn’t have cobwebs?”
My eyes almost popped out of my head at Amari’s crudeness.
“What?”
“Tell me more about what turns you on. A brother needs tips if he decides to shoot his shot.”
This time, I did more than blush. Amari was bold and confident with his words. In that moment, I realized that he was my type of man in every way. What was I going to do with that? Surely, I couldn’t pounce on him simply because we shared a bed during a crisis. Or could I?
Amari cleared his throat, pulling me from the thoughts in my head.
“When was the last time you made love to a real man?”
“Amari, . . . this conversation isn’t appropriate.”
“Says who? Who’s dictating what’s appropriate and inappropriate in your life? I get that you’re grieving, but how long are you going to close yourself off to the world? Don’t you want to be free so a man who has been hoping and praying for his good thing could finally tap into the joy that he’s been missing?”
I absorbed Amari’s words, quickly trying to process whether he was being literal or was speaking about a general scenario. In the darkness and stillness of my bedroom, was he really shooting his shot and testing me to see if I was ready for love?
Chapter
Eleven
AMARI
VIRTUE
God knew I tried to be as patient with Ruby as I could, but her wall had me wanting to beat the oversized pillows behind me and scream to the top of my lungs. She was ripe and ready to be plucked by the right man, yet she was still closed off, even after seeing me naked and after I was gentle with her.
I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose my child, but I was right here, ready to worship her in every way. Why couldn’t she see that I wanted to dive into her world and be on her short list of confidantes? Were my expectations off when I felt an instant attraction to her? Could she feel it too?
“Men are complicated, and I have my toys.” She spoke the words so low I barely heard her.
I didn’t peg Ruby to be the dildo and vibrator type of woman, so I was intrigued.
“What kind of toys?”
“My friend, Lena, owns an online adult bookstore. Since I didn’t think I’d ever get married or have a man in my life, I purchased a few items to keep me warm at night.”
What?When I didn’t speak, Ruby rested her hand over mine.
“Why are you so quiet?”
Ruby’s question made me explore what was going through my head. Was I so patriarchal that I thought a woman could only get pleasure with a live man? No woman I’d ever known needed anything other than my mouth, fingers, or dick to satisfy them. If Ruby and I got together, I didn’t want to compete with silicone to make her cum.
“It’s just that . . .” I tried to form the right words. “I’ve never had to compete with toys before.”
“Who says there’d be competition? I’ve seen you naked, and I have no doubt that pound for pound, you’d come in first place every time.”
