I reached for her and lowered her hand slowly as if her hand was a real gun and I didn’t want anybody to get hurt.
“Thank God for your brother. Otherwise, you might be in somebody’s prison right now.”
Ruby turned her head to me as if my voice pulled her from her flashback. In her eyes, I saw the depth of her pain on so many levels.
“If I were so great, why did the man I love treat me so bad? He humiliated me. I couldn’t come back here and let anyone know I’d been played like that. I didn’t even have my baby to comfort me anymore.”
Tears fell fast from Ruby’s face. Within seconds, her body shook as she released her pain. I moved to her and rocked with her in my arms until her breathing steadied.
“Larenz died with my baby. That’s why I tell everybody he’s dead. Because he is.”
I continued to rock with Ruby and pressed her head against my chest.
“He’s dead.” She repeated those words several times.
“He’s whatever you need him to be. That’s your business. He won’t hurt you again.”
I meant what I said. If Larenz Starks ever set foot in Farmerton, I’d be the first person to take him into the backwoods and make sure he never made it out.
As Ruby’s body stilled and nestled comfortably into mine, I stared at the fireplace. I released her and lifted her chin. Her parted lips called out to me, but I held back. Instead, I wiped streaks of water from her tear-stained cheeks and searched her eyes. In them, I saw only goodness and someone who deserved to be worshipped for her grace and poise.
The unspoken yearning in Ruby’s red eyes made me want to suck all the hurt from her body. She’d fought an unexpected warof the heart and was a casualty of an attack from a man with poor character. Ruby Starks deserved rest.
“He wasn’t a real man ’cause real men don’t disrespect women like that.”
Ruby shrugged.
“I guess.”
I kissed Ruby’s hand and held it, looking in her eyes to share my heart.
“You did nothing wrong and have nothing to be ashamed of.”
“Tell that to the people around here pointing their fingers at me in judgment. And tell that to LaRue. She deserved all the good things I was supposed to give her as her mother.” Ruby closed her eyes and bit her bottom lip hard.
This side of Ruby didn’t match who I had pictured her to be. Teacher Ruby was calm with a sweet smile that could melt butter. Ruby the mother was heartbroken and tender. Both versions of her deserved empathy and grace.
“None of them matters. Forget them and forgive yourself for being human.”
“I wish it were that easy.” Ruby looked at me and sniffled.
“It is, sweetheart. Forgive yourself because you’re worthy of love.” I spoke the words softly.
When she stared at me, I wondered if I’d overstepped by using a term of endearment.
“Thank you.”
For the first time since I entered her bedroom, the cheerful version of Ruby that first drew me to her showed up. Her soft joy made me feel as if she shared a precious gift with me. I didn’t want anyone else to receive that light.
“Of course. You don’t need judgment. I know firsthand from losing Army buddies that grief isn’t linear. One day you’re mad, and another day, you’re crying because of a memory or a regret. And no one expects to bury their child.”
Ruby rested her hands on her knees and nodded, staring into the fireplace.
“You’re a good man, Amari Snowden. The woman who left you was a damn fool, but her loss is my gain.” She smiled at me before returning her eyes to the fireplace.
It was my turn to be flattered. Although working hard and making a living made me feel manly, there was nothing like being complimented about my character by a woman whose strength I admired.
We sat in silence for a while, watching the leaping flames of the fire rise and fall as the soft crackle of the burning wood cut through the cool air. The moment was as warm as the fire before us, intimate but not erotic. I extended my hand to Ruby. She stared at it for a few moments this time before accepting it in hers. I lifted her hand to my lips and kissed it.
