In the quietness, I felt seen. Amari’s energy and presence lit something in me. I wouldn’t mind having a dose of whatever this was in my life every day.
Toxic relationships were commonplace to me, but this newfound openness, safety, and friendship with an honorable man intrigued me.Thiswas what I thought marriage would be like. Stress-free and laid-back.
Amari raised the bar on what the foundation of a healthy relationship could be. I would soak up whatever this was for as long as the storm lasted outside.
Chapter
Five
AMARI
STORM WITHIN
Ruby’s tough exterior melted like ice in fire as our eyes connected. As her voice rose and fell with each comment or question she asked, her breasts heaved. When her lips received her hot toddy and the liquid eased down her throat, I imagined how those wet lips would feel on top of mine.
I moved my eyes from her tempting lips to the wispy hairs at the base of her neck. Her barely there curls beneath her bun called to me, tempting me to reach for them and lay them down with my fingers before unpinning her soft, thick hair. I wondered how it would feel between my fingers.
Instead of extending my hand to touch Ruby, I held my empty glass tighter, willing my body to calm down.
“Christmases can be hard.” I changed the subject to refocus.
“I agree.” Ruby rested her glass in her lap.
She swirled the half-full glass of liquid mindlessly.
“You called me a Secret Santa, but I used to be more public facing in my generosity.”
“What happened?”
I took a big breath as I considered the story I would tell her. My life hadn’t been rosy, and it could take all night to share experiences that had me going to therapy weekly for years. Only within the last six months did I feel comfortable enough discussing a past that was often debilitating.
“See this?” I pointed to the roots of an oak tree tattooed on my upper body.
“Yes, it’s beautiful.” Ruby reached for my chest and almost touched my skin with her fingers but stopped mere inches away from it.
“You can touch it.”
Ruby carefully traced the design with her fingers, causing my breath to catch. When she was done, her eyes dropped to her lap before returning to my eyes.
“I was raised to be a generous giver. When anyone had a need, Amari Snowden was the first person they called. When my cousin couldn’t pay his medical bills, I pitched in with every dime I could spare. Our grandfather died soon after my cousin finished treatment and left his estate to me and only me. Several relatives got angry and expected me to break them off a piece, but I didn’t. They were greedy in life, and Granddad had a sound mind when he passed. I wasn’t going against his wishes. It created a rift that hasn’t been mended. In many ways, the division in my family is my fault. I just want to keep my wealth quiet. Money causes a lot of drama.”
Ruby reached for my hand before squeezing it.
“Money does a lot of good when it’s sown into good ground. You’re a great person, Amari. You shouldn’t have to hide that.”
“Thank you.” I tilted my body forward and rested my hands on my knees with my legs wide. I took a deep breath and continued.
“I put on a strong face, but my divorce nearly broke me. I expected support and care I never got. Lise had a hard time getting pregnant, and Aspen was the glue that kept us together. This is the year I’ll be alone. Holidays are tough when family is supposed to bring so much joy.”
The familiar pang of sadness hit me right in the chest. Although many people didn’t know how deeply I hurt when it came to connecting with people I loved, I felt as if Ruby needed to know my history and might even understand it.
“I’m sorry.”
“Thank you. It’s not always easy for me to be so open, but I feel led to share it with you so you don’t get the wrong idea about me. You seem like a woman who’s trustworthy. Am I correct?”
“I’d like to think so.” Ruby clasped her fingers together and stared toward the corner of the room.
I followed her gaze. My eyes landed on a big stack of boxes labeled ‘confidential.’ When I reached for her hand, she shook herself with her lips drawn.
