My heart is still racing from the thought of death approaching me moments ago as I slept and I lean back into my pillow, keeping my hand in place. Isqueeze my eyes shut and allow my mind to float away to whatever fucked up memory I can think of first. And I want to cry when the first thing that comes to mind is the shower from last night.
I’ve never been so turned on before. Something I am ashamed to admit but it was undeniable. I was scared; I’m sure the fear I felt in that moment was at the height of anything I’d ever experienced before. But there was something about the way he held me hostage while his voice whispered over my skin. How the spray of the cold water countered the heat from his gun and the searing pain from his touch. The pain that only hurt as much as it felt good because even though he was rough and demanding, he still felt safe and gentle with me. Or maybe I’m being delusional to try and justify why I enjoyed the way he was handling me. I should have been terrified for my life. And, partially, I was. But even as he clasped his hand over my mouth with all his might, nearly taking my breath away, I can’t deny the way that my pussy clenched when he shot that gun. When he used it to nearly get me off.
Fuck, and his voice. It’s been years and all I’ve been able to think about is his voice. His words. His hands around my fucking neck.
But I hate him. I hate him and…
Oh, fuck.I’m so close to coming. I hadn’t even realized I worked myself into the frenzy I’m feeling right now, thinking about the only man I swore to never think about ever again.
But as I touch myself, circling my clit with the pad of my finger and then pressing downward to enter myself, I can’t help but to want to succumb to thepleasure I’m feeling just by thinking of the fear and pain he’s inflicted on me this far.
I bite my lip hard, my teeth digging into the flesh of it as I feel my orgasm cresting. I hate myself for this, but I can’t stop. It feels too fucking…
“Hello? Anyone home?”
I freeze.
Fuck. It’s Alli.
I quickly remove my hand and flip over, pretending to be caught under the blanket and still asleep as I hear footsteps quickly approaching my room.
“Knock, knock,” she sing-songs without actually knocking on the door. But I don’t move or answer her. I’m afraid if I do, she’ll be able to sense myneed. Or hear it in my tone.
Because I am needy. So much so that I literally want to scream right now. I was so close to coming but now, in no less than twelve hours, I’ve been edged twice. Three times if you count the interaction with Trace right after the maze.
“Bitch, wake up! We got shit to do!”
“Go away,” I finally groan, feeling frustrated and confused beyond belief.
I hear her shuffle closer to my bed as she giggles.
“No can do. We have pancakes to get to and then we play truth or dare. And you know I have been dying for that one. And also . . .duh! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!”
I finally decide to flip over to face her, seeing her look down at me with the most chipper expression. Her bright red hair is tied up into a messy knot and her cheeks are pink, likely from the cold outside. Or maybe it’s from something else entirely.
“Did you get laid?” I groan as I pull my hand under my pillow, my sleepy voice still very much present.
“No,” she says, dragging out the vowel in a playful way. “But I did have an orgasm, so same thing I suppose.” She smirks nefariously at me.
An orgasm . . . I wonder what that’s like,I think to myself.
I lift my head up to grab the pillow from underneath me to toss it at her. She catches it and laughs.
“What time is it, anyway?” I ask, realizing that the sun is shining through every crack the cabin has to offer, letting in light and painting the room in a golden hue.
“It’s like seven-thirty and if we don’t hurry our asses, we’ll starve to death.”
She turns around and walks out of my room, dropping my pillow on the floor before she does so.
I pull my blanket over my head and groan. I’m not going to have fun today, especially with this throbbing ache in my core that I am desperate to relieve. Not only that but just feeling like I came up here for all the wrong reasons.
“Come on, bitch! Or I’m leaving without you!” she shouts from the other room now. “And get some snow boots. Snow came down harder than I did.”
“I did not need to know that!” I shout back at her and she chuckles.
I sit up as I yawn, stretching my arms above my head before jumping out of bed. “Give me ten minutes,” I holler at Alli as I grab some clothes out of the dresser.
But as I start to head toward the bathroom to get changed, my phone pings.
