“That’s it,” I say, numb. “Everything is over. Everything I’ve ever worked for. Gone.”
He looks like he wants to break something and is forcing every muscle not to. “They don’t understand.”
“I didn’t even get to tell him about the garage,” I continue in the same tone. “That was the plan. I didn’t even get that far.”
“Look at me,” he says.
I raise my eyes. His are dark and steady on mine.
“You’re here,” he says. “You’re safe. We handle what’s in front of us.”
“What’s in front of us is that everything I built is gone,” I say, and it comes out flat. “Even if they don’t disbar me, I’m done. No one hires the woman who slept with the defendant. Had his baby. They don’t care about nuance.”
“I care,” he says.
“You’re not in the market for a prosecutor, Luca,” I say, finally breaking the monotone voice. Now I’m getting angry. “You can’t fix this with a phone call or a security detail. My name is shit.”
He takes it. Doesn’t flinch, doesn’t argue. “I’m not trying to hire you,” he says quietly. “I’m telling you you’re not finished.”
I laugh, sharp and ugly. “Says the man who lives in a world where the worse the reputation, the better!”
He doesn’t rise to it. “I don’t take pride in what happened to you, Elena,” he says. “I want you whole.”
“I don’t feel whole,” I shoot back. “I feel fired and contaminated and—” I stop, press my thumb into the edge of the table. “I feel stupid.”
“You’re not stupid.” He comes closer, slow, palms open. “You were targeted.”
“And I gave them the match,” I say. “I went to your house. I let myself—” My voice frays. “I knew better.”
“You’re human,” he says.
“I slept with a defendant. I’m having his baby, for God’s sake. They were right to fire me.”
“We’ll fix this,” he assures me.
I stare at him. “You can’t clean this with muscle and brute force.”
“I’m not going to,” he says. “You get a lawyer and prepare a defense for the board. Maybe you won’t be a prosecutor anymore, but you can still be a lawyer. Then we figure out who gave your name up, and who tried to run you down.”
The fight drains out of me in a slow exhale. “Okay.” Something in my chest loosens and hurts at the same time. I tip forward until my elbows find my knees and press my fingertips to my hairline. “Okay.”
He drops to a knee beside the chair so we’re level. “What do you need right now?”
“A lawyer who understands OPR and the Bar.”
“No,” he says and gently takes my hands in his so I can look at him. “Right now. What do you need right now?”
“I need ten minutes without a decision to make,” I say. I’m surprised at how honest that is. “Just ten minutes to think about nothing.”
“Good,” he says. “But let’s do one better. How about an hour?”
“I don’t think anything could keep my mind off this for an hour,” I say.
“I’ll bet I can think of something,” Luca says, then presses his lips to mine.
I pull away and look at him with a small tilt to my lips. “Is everything about sex with you?” I whisper.
“Most things, yes,” he responds, then yanks me out of the chair and over his shoulder.
