"This isn't something you do because you're scared and looking for a distraction."
"That's not what this is." I reach up and touch his face, my palm against his jaw. "This is me choosing. Clearly, deliberately, without fear. I want to know what it feels like to surrender to someone I trust. I want to know what I'm capable of. And I want to know it with you."
His eyes search mine. Looking for doubt, for desperation, for any sign that I'm not as sure as I sound.
He doesn't find any.
"If we do this," he says slowly, "there are rules. We negotiate everything first. You have a safeword that stops all action, no questions asked. And afterward, I take care of you. That's non-negotiable."
"I know. You explained it before."
"Explaining it and living it are different things."
"Then show me."
He holds my gaze a beat longer. Then his hand comes up to cover mine where it rests against his face.
"Come with me."
The Forge is different this time. The hallway feels charged with anticipation. Will keys in a code at one of the private room doors, and we step into a space that's smaller than I expected but somehow exactly right.
Warm lighting. A large bed with dark sheets. A wall with equipment I recognize from my research—cuffs, restraints, implements whose purposes I can guess at. Everything clean, everything intentional.
"Sit," Will says, gesturing to the bed. "We need to talk first."
I sit. He pulls a chair close and faces me, his knees almost touching mine.
"Tell me your limits. Things you absolutely don't want."
"No pain that leaves marks. No... nothing that restricts my breathing." The memories of Craig surface briefly, and I push them down. "Nothing degrading. I need to feel respected, even when I'm being controlled."
Will nods. "What do you want to try?"
"Restraints. Being told what to do." I swallow. "Being praised when I do it right."
"Safeword?"
"Red."
"If something feels wrong but you don't want to stop completely?"
"Yellow."
"Good." He reaches out and takes my hands. "Tonight is about you. Your pleasure, your discovery. I'm going to push you, but only as far as you want to go. And I'm going to check in. Frequently. Until I know your body well enough to read it."
"Okay."
"Say it back to me. What's your safeword?"
"Red."
"What happens when you say it?"
"Everything stops."
"And if you say yellow?"
"We slow down and talk."
