The orgasm that hit me was both terrifying and beautiful.I screamed and Tiny’s hoarse shout was nearly as loud.The pleasure broke over me in waves, my body arching and trembling beneath him.I cried out again, unable to contain the intensity of the sensation.His body shuddered powerfully against mine, inside mine, as we rode the wave of pleasure together.
For several minutes, neither of us moved.I thought his weight on top of me would feel suffocating or, at the very least, be pretty damned uncomfortable.But I could breathe just fine and I loved how his weight pressed me into the mattress beneath me.I sighed against him happily, going completely limp.I felt his heart thundering against my chest, matching the frantic rhythm of my own.Slowly, carefully, he lowered himself to the side, keeping one arm wrapped around me to draw me against him.I turned willingly into his embrace, my body still trembling with aftershocks.
We lay tangled in the sweat-dampened sheets, my head nestled against his chest, his massive arm draped protectively across my waist, the other wrapped around my body holding me against him like he never wanted to let me go.
“You OK?”he asked after a while, his voice a low rumble in the quiet room.
I nodded against his chest, too content to form words just yet.I felt his lips press against the top of my head, then move to my temple, my cheekbone, my shoulder.Tiny kisses, gentle and reverent, as if he was mapping my skin, committing it to memory.“More than OK.I can never remember being this…” I searched for the right word while my brain had gone on hiatus a long damned time ago.“Contented?Like the worst is behind us?”I took a breath, smiling up into his concerned face.Reaching up, I stroked his bearded cheek.“Like I’m finally where I belong.”
He shifted slightly, adjusting our position so he could place soft kisses along my collarbone.The tenderness of the gesture after such intense passion made my chest tighten with emotion.His beard tickled my skin, but I didn’t mind.The slight scratch of it was just another reminder that this was real, that he was real.
“Sex was never something I looked forward to.”I admitted quietly.“It never felt anything like that, from start to finish.”
He pulled back slightly to look at me, his expression serious.“Like what?”
I frowned, struggling to find the words to explain.“Safe,” I finally said.“I felt safe tonight, even when I wasn’t in control.Even when you were…” I gestured vaguely, feeling my cheeks warm.“You didn’t hurt me.You did everything you could tonothurt me.”
Understanding dawned in his eyes, followed by a flash of anger that I knew wasn’t directed at me.He pulled me closer, pressing his lips to my forehead.“That’s how it’s supposed to be,” he said firmly.“Always.You should never feel afraid with someone who claims to love you.”
Love.The word hung in the air between us, neither acknowledged nor denied.I wondered if he meant to say it, if he realized what he’d implied.From the sudden stillness of his body, I suspected he had.
“Sorry,” he murmured.“I didn’t mean to --”
“It’s OK,” I interrupted, placing my palm against his chest, feeling his heart beat steady and strong beneath my hand.“I know what you mean.”
“No,” he muttered.He sounded like he was talking to himself more than me.“I don’t really think you do.”He sighed, relaxing slightly.“I just want you to know that you deserve to feel safe.You and the girls.”
I nodded, settling more comfortably against him.His body was like a furnace, radiating heat that seeped into my bones.For the first time in years, I felt myself truly relaxing, the hypervigilance that had become second nature finally, blissfully quiet.
Neither of us spoke for a long moment.I thought maybe he’d gone to sleep, so I tested him.“Tiny?”My voice was a thread of sound.
“Yeah, baby?”His voice was rough.Either from sleep or his shouts during sex I had no idea.
“I was kind of hoping you were asleep.”I had no idea why I said that, but once I had I knew he’d want to know why.I figured now was as good a time as any.
He chuckled.“Figured.Give me two minutes, honey.I need to clean up, then you will tell me what’s on your mind.”I looked up at him, and he gave me a serious look.“You will.”
I couldn’t help the grin tugging at my lips.“I’d argue, but I’m not sure there will ever be a good time.”
“OK.I’ll clean us both, then you can tell me what you need to.”
It didn’t take him that long.He even brought a warm, wet cloth to clean me up.Once he’d finished with me, he knelt to place a kiss over my pussy before tossing the rag toward the bathroom and climbing back into bed.
Once he had me settled, he kissed the top of my head briefly.“Now.What’s goin’ on, honey?”
I couldn’t help but smile.“You are… perfect, Tiny.Perfect for me.For the girls.I appreciate everything you’ve done for us, and I will never take anything you do for us for granted.However long you let us in your life.”
“Penny” -- he pulled back slightly so he could look at me -- ”I’m not leaving.I’d never hold you against your will, but I will do everything in my power to keep you happy and to do right by Kira and Zelda in every way I can.You know that.Right?”
I smiled up at him.“Yes.I think I do.But that’s not what I need to tell you.”
“I’m listening, baby.”
“My mom was a drug addict.I think I took care of her for more of my life than she took care of me.”That part hurt almost as much as the rest of it.“She OD’d when I was eight, and the state took me in.”I paused to take a couple of fortifying breaths before I continued.“Zelda and Kira aren’t Andy’s daughters.I had them when I’d just turned sixteen.It was one of my foster fathers.The last one, actually.”Tiny didn’t say anything, but I was pretty sure I felt a growl deep in his chest.“I ran away.The police took me back to CPS.They didn’t believe me and put me in a group home with other kids they consider unplaceable.”
“Sounds like the fuckin’ system let you down from the get-go.”His voice was tight, and I knew he was holding on to his anger, though not atme.On my behalf.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t like it there.”
