“Probably.Pretty sure the whole Goddamned club knows by now.”
“You know what this might lead to,” Knight said, his voice even lower.
“I do,” I answered, watching Penny settle on the couch behind her daughters, her hand absently stroking Kira’s hair.“And I’m OK with goin’ back to prison if it means that fucker goes to hell.”Whatever came next, I was all in.For her.For those girls.For all of them.
After Knight left to finish installing equipment in the security office, Penny and I drifted toward the far corner of the common room.We settled into the worn armchairs angled to face each other, still within sight of the kids but far enough away that our conversation wouldn’t carry.The morning sun cast long shadows across the floor between us.I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees.
“You have questions,” I said, keeping my voice low.Not a question, but an observation.I’d seen the way she watched me since our kiss yesterday, a mixture of curiosity and uncertainty in her gaze.
She nodded, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear.“Knight mentioned Terre Haute.You were there?”
“Fifteen years,” I confirmed.
Her eyes widened slightly, but she didn’t recoil.“What… what were you in for?”
I took a deep breath, steadying myself.I’d told this story before, but it never got easier.“I crushed a man’s head with my bare hands.”
She sucked in a breath, her eyes going wide.I might have gone for the shock factor to push her away.I shouldn’t have kissed her, knowing there was every possibility I was going to kill her husband.To my surprise, she didn’t look scared.Not in the way I thought she would be.“There has to be more to it than just some random guy who farted in the wrong direction.”I recognized morbid humor for what it was and smiled.Likely, she was holding herself together with the barest of threads.
“My sister Julie.She was sixteen.”I paused, gathering my thoughts.Penny reached out and took one of my hands, lending support when she knew the tragic ending and probably suspected what happened in between.“She was attacked and raped.I came home and found him still there.Still… hurting her.”Penny’s fingers tightened on my hand but she remained silent, letting me continue.“I pulled him off her…” I looked down at my hands, these massive instruments that had once taken a life.“Didn’t even think about it.Just… reacted.”
I glanced up, expecting to see fear or disgust in her eyes, but found only a fierce understanding.“He deserved it.”Her voice was a mere whisper, and she added her other hand to mine.
“I’m not proud of how I lost control,” I continued.“But I’m not sorry he’s dead.Julie deserved better than she got.”The words felt like stones in my throat.“I was charged with second-degree murder.Could’ve been a worse sentence, but the prosecutor had a sister too.Understood, I guess.”
“Fifteen years,” Penny whispered.“For protecting your sister.”
I shrugged my massive shoulders.“System doesn’t care why you kill someone.Just that you did.And they’re right.I got no problem with killin’ someone who needs killin’.But if it means enough to me to do it myself, I’m fully prepared to accept the consequences.I don’t know any other way to be.”
“I don’t know what you were like before, but I would have thought prison would have made you more aggressive.Not less.”
“Prison changes you.Teaches you to watch everything.Everyone.”I met her gaze directly.“But it also taught me control.How to channel anger, how to de-escalate instead of react.Had to learn that to survive.Otherwise, I’d be the biggest target in the yard.Literally.With my size, winning fights could be a detriment.I couldn’t always avoid a fight, but I prevented more than I participated in.”I shrugged.“I called it a win.”
Penny nodded slowly.“I understand that.”Her voice softened.“Living your whole life on high alert.”
“It’s different now,” I admitted.“With my club.I found purpose.Found people worth protecting.”I hesitated, then added, “People like you and your girls.”
Her eyes flicked toward the children, still absorbed in their game.“I’m afraid all the time,” she confessed, her voice barely audible.“Not just of Andy finding us.I’m afraid of making the wrong decisions.Of trusting the wrong people.”She looked back at me.“Of failing them again.”
“You didn’t fail them,” I said immediately, the words coming out more forcefully than I’d intended.“You got them out.You’re keeping them safe.Most of all, you brought them here.There is no place you could be safer than with the men and women in Kiss of Death.The old ladies are just as much a part of everything as we are.They will all stand with you.”
“I waited too long,” she countered.
I shook my head.“Leaving an abuser isn’t simple.You know that.You left when you could.When you had to.”
“But at what cost?”Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.“They’re so damaged, Tiny.Zelda doesn’t let anyone near her.Kira barely spoke before we got here.They jump at shadows.They’ve seen and heard things no child should.”She pressed her palms against her eyes.“And now I’m what?Dragging them into a world of outlaw bikers and ex-cons?What kind of mother does that make me?”I sat very still, absorbing her words.She’d put voice to the exact fears that had been plaguing me since our kiss yesterday.Since I’d started feeling things for her I had no right to feel.Hearing her mirror my own thoughts still hit me like a dick punch.
“Andy said something to me yesterday,” I said carefully.“About how a judge would see you associating with people like me.People with records.”I let out a slow breath.“He’s not wrong.”
Penny dropped her hands, looking at me with sudden intensity.“Don’t.”
I shook my head, slow and deliberate.This time, I reached out for her hand.She didn’t hesitate.She turned her palm up, curled her fingers tight and locked them around mine.“Haven works closely with a lawyer named Lana Thompson.Lana probably has more pull with family court than any other attorney in the system here.Not because she’s on the take or anything.She’s a by-the-book kind of lawyer.She’s smart, she’s more than a little bit devious, but she has earned the respect of every family court judge in the county.Ms.Thompson knows the guys in the club.She uses us to help support children who are testifying against their abusers.She knows we are the best protection the three of you could have.Judge Whitmore does too.She and Ms.Thompson sometimes work together when they need to remove a child from a home.Judge Whitmore has an uncanny ability to cut through red tape in the legal system when she needs to.”I took a breath, looking into her eyes and holding her gaze.“So, yes.There is always a chance being near me could hurt you.What I’m asking…” I deliberately paused, needing her to understand I meant every Goddamned word I said.“What I’m asking is for you to trust me.I know it’s a lot, but I’m still asking.”
Penny studied me for a long moment, her gaze studying me intently.“Do you know what Zelda said to me last night?When we thought Andy might come back?”
I shook my head.
“She said ‘Tiny won’t let him in.Tiny promised.’My daughter who trusts no one, who questions everything… She believes in you.”The knowledge hit me like a physical blow.I thought of Zelda’s fierce protectiveness of her sister, her suspicious nature, her careful distance from everyone -- especially men.The thought that she trusted me enough to believe I’d keep my word.“And Kira,” Penny continued.“You saw how she gave you Mr.Hoppers.That rabbit is her most precious possession.Her only comfort through years of fear.And she handed him to you without hesitation.”
