“I went all in, Hamilton Family Gaslighting 101.” She allows her voice to rise an octave or two. “Oh my gosh, Carter! Dean? Howdidn’tyou know about him? He lives away, but he visits at least once a year. Isn’t he just the sweetest, silliest guy you ever met?”
“Anna?” An older woman, one who spends all year long crocheting hats to donate at Christmastime, latches onto my arm and brings me around with surprising strength. Her eyes glisten and dance under dangling fairy lights. “Oh my goodness, sweetheart. I’msohappy you’re here tonight.”
“Aw. Thank you.” I allow her to tug me closer and place a feather-soft kiss on my cheek.Don’t cry. Don’t cry. Don’t cry.“It’s good to see you, Mrs. Pearson. Are you well?”
“I am.”Damn the old bat; she swipes a glistening tear from beneath her eye. “Very well, thank you. The committee worked tirelessly this year to string the tree. Have you seen it yet?”
“Lit?” I cast my gaze to the dark fir. “No. Not yet. I’m excited, though. It’s been a while since I took the time to come here.”
“We all grieve in our own ways.” She manages to repeat Dean’s words verbatim, squeezing my arm and smiling through tear-clogged lashes. Then she pats my hand and coughs out a weepy snicker. “It makes my heart happy to have you back this year, Sweet Anna. Your father would be proud.”
“You’re so kind.” Mel expertly extracts me from Mrs. Pearson’s death grip and makes it seem entirely pleasant. “We were just heading over to collect some cocoa. Could we bring some back for you?”
“Oh, no, dear.” She waves us off. “But I appreciate your generous offer.”
The instant we’re moving again, I close my eyes and tilt my face toward the sky, trusting my best friend to lead me. “Thank you.” I swipe my nose and bring my head back down again. “She almost got me.”
“Nobody’s making my girl cry tonight.” She cuddles into my side and walks me all the way to the coffee cart, ordering, paying, and turning back to face me head on. “If you wanna cry, you can. I support it. But if you don’t?—”
“I don’t.” I swallow the irritating lump of nerves stuck in the base of my throat. “I’m trying this new thing where Idon’tcry in December. It’s called the Dean Warner Detox method. I kinda like it.”
Snickering, she rubs my arms as an icy blast of wind whips her hair around her head. “It’s adorable how besotted he is with you. He’s like a big ol’ puppy dog, lighting up every time you look his way.”
To test it, I glance across the expanse of the park and get caught up in his hungry-eyed gaze. My heart sizzles when we make contact, then it sighs when he winks. He maintains a three-way conversation with Nick and Carter,somehow already having acquired a bottle of… something. A beer, maybe. But for as long as I stare, he stares right back, and when warmth floods my cheeks, his nose wrinkles playfully.
“Good lord. What are the chances you could just go for a drive one night and BAM! You hit the man you’ve been looking for all along?”
I peel my gaze back to Mel’s, a shuddering, nervous laugh bouncing from the depths of my chest. “The man I’ve been looking for?” I shake my head. “I think you’re overstating?—”
“Don’t even pretend, Annaliese Maxwell! You’ve gone your entire adult dating lifeneverbringing a man home. If you wanted to bang, you did it at the guy’s house, and then you packed up your sexy shoes and drove home… alone.”
“Dean and I are not sleeping together!”
“Yet,” she teases, a filthy, flirty smirk curling her lips. “You’re letting him sleep under the same roof as you, which issonot your thing. You let him drive your car.”
“But—”
“You’re letting him into your heart,” she adds, softer this time. Sweeter. “You didn’t make him take the Christmas decorations down, even after he said he would. He got you to come out tonight. That’s a huge friggin’ deal. You look at him, and he looks at you, and you just…” She takes my hand in hers, squeezing. “It feels good.”
“Mel—”
“It’s okay not to rush it. It’s okay to just be in the moment and take each day as it comes. But as your best friend, I’m telling you there’s something here.”
“It’s scary.” I blink, blink, blink fresh tears into my lashes, my breath coming out on an aching shudder. “It’s terrifying, and Iswear, the universe already shoutedno. I literally hit that poor man with my car. With my dad’s car!”
“And while I acknowledge the universe’s unsubtle shout—” She studies me through perfect, loving eyes. “—I’m not sure she was saying what you think she was saying. You completely refused to exist for an entire month each year, Anna. You’ve closed yourself off to basically every human on the planet, because God forbid someone else slide in and ruin another Christmas.”
“Exactly, so?—”
“But this time, it all happened in reverse. It’s still December, and there was still a car accident.”
I groan.
“But he’s okay. The worst has already happened, and he’s still right here, flirting with you. Crowding you. Wanting you.”
“Melanie—”
“Just give it a chance.” She squeezes my hand. “I’m not saying you have to marry the dude or fall in love. I’m just saying you should consider that this may be different. You refuse to put gifts under your tree every single year. Hell, you don’t even put a tree up anymore.”
