"Good." I'm still holding her face, still close enough to kiss her, and it's taking every ounce of willpower I have not to. "Because I really don't want to fuck this up, and if I kiss you right now, I'm not going to want to stop."
Her breath hitches. "Would that be so bad?"
"Yes, because you deserve more than me losing control and taking you on the couch like I've been fantasizing about for fiveyears." The admission makes her eyes go dark. "You deserve to be courted properly. You deserve—"
"Joel." She cuts me off, her voice firm. "Stop deciding what I deserve. I know what I want."
"Tomorrow," I say, and this time it's not a dodge—it's a promise. "Let me wake up on Christmas morning knowing this is real. Let me make you breakfast and give you the present I bought you months ago. Let me do this right."
She searches my face. "You bought me a present?"
"In September." I feel heat creeping up my neck. "I saw it and thought of you. Told myself I'd give it to Alexis to give to you, but I've been keeping it in my desk drawer, looking at it like an idiot."
Her smile is radiant. "You really are gone for me, aren't you?"
"Completely." I finally force myself to step back, to drop my hands. "So let me court you properly. Even if it's just for one day."
Nina stands there for a moment, looking at me with an expression I can't quite read. Then she moves closer, rises on her toes, and presses the softest, briefest kiss to my cheek—so close to the corner of my mouth it makes my entire body light up.
"Goodnight, Joel," she whispers. "Merry Christmas."
"Merry Christmas, sweetheart."
She heads upstairs, and I watch her go, my hand pressed to where her lips touched my skin.
3
Nina
Iwake up to silence.
Not the peaceful kind—the thick, heavy kind that comes after a snowstorm. I lie in the guest bed for a long moment, staring at the ceiling, my body still thrumming with awareness from last night.
I've been in love with you since I was twenty years old.
I said it. I actually said it out loud. And Joel looked at me like I'd given him something precious and terrifying all at once.
Tomorrow,he'd said.Let me court you properly.
I press my fingers to my cheek where he kissed me goodnight. It was barely a brush of lips, but it set my entire body on fire. Then I'd kissed him back, just the corner of his mouth, close enough to taste the promise of what could happen today.
My phone says it's 8:47 AM. Late for me, but I barely slept. Every time I closed my eyes, I felt Joel's hands on mine, smelled his cologne, heard his voice sayingYou're everything.
I take a long shower, trying to calm my racing heart. I want to look good today but not like I'm trying too hard, so I settle on dark jeans that hug my curves and a soft red sweater—festive but casual. I let my hair down in loose waves and put on just enough makeup to look awake.
When I finally work up the courage to go downstairs, I find Joel in the kitchen, and my heart stutters in my chest.
His hair is slightly damp from the shower, and he's moving around the kitchen in a way that I’ve always found devastatingly attractive. Coffee is already brewing, and something smells amazing in the oven.
He turns when he hears me, and the look on his face is filled with want and tenderness and even a little nervousness, makes my knees weak.
"Merry Christmas," he says, his voice rough.
"Merry Christmas." I move into the kitchen, suddenly shy. "You're up early."
"Couldn't sleep." His eyes track my movement as I approach the island. "You look beautiful."
Heat floods my cheeks. "You always say that."
