She had her tree, all for free. The people of her small town had pulled through for her. Joshua, her neighbor across the street, was kind enough to go pick it up for her in his flatbed. It was then that Evelyn realized she was going to have to try to reach outside of her introverted shell if she wasevergoing to get along without Pawpaw.
How The Grinch Stole Christmasplayed on the TV as she decorated the fake tree with a smile. Glee. Joy. Blessed.
Anxious. Afraid. Alone.
Powerful. Strong. Determined.
Sad. Defeated. Melancholy.
Tired.
Weak.
Hurting.
She was hungry.Starving. While taking a break from decorating, she had got so preoccupied with scrolling mindlessly on the town’s discussion page that she forgot to even think about dinner. And walking into the kitchen? It was an absolute disaster. One more pizza ordered. One more bottle of cherry Coke. Just one more.
While eating a fourth slice, she looked over and noticed Pawpaw’s old sunburst Taylor acoustic sitting there against the other couch, waiting for love. It originally belonged to her daddy, but when he passed, Pawpaw took it. So now that he had passed, she took it.
She walked over and picked it up.
Joy.
She tuned the strings.
Happiness.
She strummed a G chord.
No, not that one. She strummed a D chord, her favorite chord and key signature in the whole world.
Perfection.
The little disheveled living room became a breath of unwavering delight. Colorful lights bloomed and sparkled against the muted TV. She kicked up her feet on the old coffee table and slouched back, playing every Christmas song she knew and loved.It healed her nerves in a way she hadn’t felt in months. Her voice rose with every high note, longing to feel the magic of the snow on her skin and the innocence of being a little girl in the wilds of Alaska all over again. Back when she was brave. Back before adulthood hit. Back when she believed she could fly and swim with mermaids.
Adulthood was difficult for someone who was never truly taught how to be an adult. And maybe she needed to accept it.
And grow up.
Whatever that meant.
Evelyn Morgan spent that Midwest winter alone, and she discovered how deep and lonesome those winters could be. So lonesome she could cry.
She walked into the kitchen, sat at the table, and held her hands in her hair. Each tear fell on the littered table as she clutched her hair by the roots. The cold draft rushed across her feet to where she always had to wear slippers. But never mind this crying. Evelyn pried herself away from that bondage of depression and simply went to bed. The nips of ice bit at her window, and the smell of someone’s wood stove burned in the night air. Perhaps it was Joshua again.
She rolled over.
Who…cares?
Spring came knocking on her door in a few months’ time to offer its happy song. Well, it wastryingto come, but as it would be in the Midwest, it was losing a weather custody battle with winter. Some days it felt like spring, and some days it snowed. Evie would wear a thick woolcoat to work in the morning and then need the air conditioner on full blast in the afternoon.
It was March 1st, two days before her 40th birthday, and on this morning the TV played another cooking show. Oatmeal simmered in a pot. A bowl of fresh fruit was directly next to it. The sun shone on the clean kitchen table that was now crowned with a lively bouquet of numerous tulips, irises, and hyacinths. Where disastrous moving boxes were nested and stacked in corners now was a clean space with a decorative floor lamp or some other piece of decoration she’d bought from the local dollar store. One of her newfound addictions, no less. The hair wax pot on her bathroom counter contained watery wax. Her bathroom had rich aromas of rosemary and mint as the shower ran hot and she, inside, was singing.
The tea kettle screamed at her on the stove, and out of the shower Evelyn came and grabbed the towel so fast that she ripped it clean off the bar rack and made it come loose. She scoffed at being torn between the kettle and picking up the screw that fell out. Choosing the tea kettle, she yelled, “I know. I’m coming!” She walked forward and stepped right on that screw, suddenly hissing and hopping while trying to hold up her pink towel wrapped about her.
The stove was turned off, and she sighed and smiled, pouring herself a nice cup. “There we go! That should do it!” She took her oatmeal and fruit into her bedroom, sporadically eating in between picking out what to wear. It was a big day for her. The possibility of a promotion, and she wanted to look her absolute best!
She put a white sundress against her body and looked in the mirror. She grimaced and chucked it to the bed. “I’m not doing senior photos at the lake.” Hangers were scooched to the side, and she smirked and then put on a pair of dress slacks, a blazer, and a leopard-print blouse. She cast it away with a repulsed look. “It’s springtime, Evie. Get with the program.” She sighed and continued as she rummaged deeper.
