Evie walked to the lobby and on the way scrolled to check her Facebook page. It could’ve been a dumb idea, but Hunt was already on the case with the information he gathered on her behalf. And being on Facebook meant she could see who may be gossiping about her. It was hard to shut it off. As she pulled open the door to the lobby, all fanciful with its dead trophy bass mounted above the lit stone fireplace, she had ninety-two notifications, and she assumed none of them were good.
However, it wouldn’t bother her. That euphoric high was lifting her all the way to heaven.
Some of them were message requests, and in case it was a joboffer, she opened them up. One was from a woman named Kayla Brinley. “How dare you fuck around with Caleb? You always came off as this nice person, but why don’t you sleep with the sheriff’s department while you’re at it?”
Another came from a man named Thomas Decker. “Hey, you still with Caleb?”
A few were nice ones, complimenting her work with the local design for the local perfumery, but the damage was done. Apparently, Sandy had spread her stupid mouth as fast as she could spread a disease.
Normally, she would panic. But Caleb had taught her enough about controlling things that could be controlled and letting go of things that couldn’t. This was one of those times when it was beyond her control, and even his. The word spread in some way, somehow. What made it easier for her to let it go was that Caleb already knew people were talking. Now it didn’t matter. She ignored all those nasty messages and walked with her chipper and uplifted demeanor towards the vending machine. Evie had a strut in her walk, a flouncy bounce in her hair, and a smile wider than the Missouri River. Caleb’s touch was still sensed all over her, and she wanted it to stay that way.
Hell, as far as she was concerned, he could have her any time, any day, anywhere.
She collected her snacks from the vending machine and headed back to the room. A diesel truck had pulled in and took up half the lot, and its low muttering sound calmed her. All around the lake, the branches looked like chocolate cake coated with vanilla icing. Somewhere off, a few cardinals called to one another in the sound of a waking spring and dying winter. It was only January, but Missouri weather could be sporadic like that. She looked up to see the Canadian geese honking with their swift flight overhead towards the lake. A dark-eyed junco landed on her room’s windowsill.
She opened the door and saw Caleb sitting on the bed facing away from her, as if he had been staring at the wall. The corny 90s floral print and hunter-green comforter was across his lap. He was hunched over a bit, rubbing his face. She was unaware of it, but he was thinking about last night. And it was both good…
And bad.
She made her way over to him after closing the door and sang a little chipper good morning to him. He looked up to her and thanked her for the snack and soda. The problem was deep within him. Evie wrapped her arms around his shoulders and licked softly behind his ear. She wasn’t making toxic thoughts any less toxic. She kissed his throat, stroked the muscles on his back, and it left him yearning for another escape. Anything to get his mind away from what he was thinking. The PTSD episode had been long gone now, and so that was no longer the weight on his mind. It was what he had said to her last night.
When he said he loved her.
It was the stupidest thing he could have done. But they were both so caught up in the moment that neither of them was thinking. Perhaps Evie did lovehim, because that was how she was. But he hadn’t really known her for even two years now, had only had one technical date with her, and so there was no way in hell he should’ve been so stupid to say such a thing. Especially to a lovesick woman like her. Yet now he knew there was no way in hell he would tell her he didn’t mean it. It would surely drive her over the edge if he did.
Fuck it all.
He put his chips and his Coke down on the nightstand, grabbed her, and threw her down on the bed. His mind switched out of that sensible and rational thinking. “I wanna make love to you again.”
Evie settled below him willingly and stroked his arm. “Don’t even think about that. Whatever you want, whatever you need.” She looked up to him. “I’m here.”
He shuddered. His nerves ran hot and all over his skin pricked. Evie lifted her beautiful face and kissed him, whispering, “Use me. I’d rather be your little slut than anyone else’s girlfriend.”
“No,” he said sharply. “Don’t say that. Look at how you are, even right now. You want me to use you, but you don’t know the first thing about really being at the mercy of someone else.” His deep voice grew harsh, “Stop succumbing to me. You don’t know what you’re doing. That’s not what you’re here for.”
She pleaded, “But I want to. I know you wouldn’t hurt me. Besides, you just told me last night to give myself to you. So I’m simply doing it again.” She raked her fingers through his face and his hair withravenous desire. “I don’t think you understand how much I want you to let it all out in me. I want to be the reason your beautiful mind is freed.”
He got off of her and she sat up. He shouted, “Stop saying that!”
Confusion came across her face. “I don’t understand. Say what?”
He looked at her and waved his hand away in anger. “That stupid ‘beautiful mind’ comment. This mind isn’t fucking beautiful! Get your head out of your romance books, Evie!”
“Um, I actually don’t read romance books. I thought you knew that.”
Caleb faced her and once more warned, “Don’t ever call my mind beautiful again. You don’t know what kind of fucked up shit I have going on in there.”
She stood and approached him like a phantom of beauty, cautious and unwavering. He was sweating. This time, she knew not to touch him. “I read Stephen King books,” she said as she locked her eyes on him. “Your mind, in all of its chaos and hurt, is beautiful to me.”
Like an irate man would, he snapped at her, “That’s the stupidest fucking thing I’ve ever heard you say. Do you know how delusional you sound right now?”
She walked up to him closer and glared at him. Her voice was even, calm, like still waters. “How about the fact that I find your mind beautifulnotby the mess that’s within it but by the love you still give to others despite suffering so deeply?”
Caleb was going to open his mouth to dish out his infamous “I’m not hurting” line, but he immediately clapped it closed.
Evie rose her brows in a smile.
He shut himself up.
