Teddy gave a meow so loudly she could hear it through the closed front window. She turned and smiled, the tears glittering in her dark eyes that had sweaty hair clinging to them. She quickly turned back inside and grabbed her keys and left the house in a frenzied hurry, peeling off down her gravel driveway in anger. Inside back at home, Teddy meowed all alone.
When Evie came home, she flopped on the sofa and rippedopen a brown bag and broke open the whiskey bottle and gulped it as hard as she could. Wine wasn’t going to work. It hadn’t worked in months. She needed something harder. Her throat burned, and her eyes watered. She stifled her cough and kept going.
Teddy meowed.
She didn’t stop.
Her walls were crumbling all around her, and through the autumn rain, she walked alone. Through the winter frost, she wept in isolation.
Teddy jumped onto her lap and meowed.
She kept drinking. Her eyes closed while the tears rolled down her face, and the whiskey dripped down her neck.
Teddy hissed, launched, and bit her face.
She dropped the bottle, and it spilled all over the newer, expensive sofa. “Teddy! What the hell was that all about?” She lazily picked up the bottle and placed it on the coffee table after shuffling a bunch of crap to the side. She then hurried to the kitchen to grab towels, but the alcohol was already taking effect on her. Her foot hit the coffee table, and she fought to regain her balance, but it was a losing battle.
The images blurred and slanted. Her head buzzed wildly, and her skin sweated profusely. Evie fell face-forward into her entertainment stand. Lying on the floor, she held her forehead and saw a little blood on her fingers.
Teddy hurried over and began licking her injury. Once more, her sobs came. Evie rolled over and hugged her cat like she was going to die if she didn’t. Her face pressed into his fat belly to soothe her headache.
That night, with an icepack to her forehead, Evie sat cross-legged on her sofa with Teddy purring right next to her. Shecouldhave gone to the hospital, but she had no choice but to try to be braver. She had no choice but to grow up.
And now she knewexactlywhat that meant.
She muttered to herself, “I bet he started seeing another girl.” She sniffled. “I can’t believe I was so damn dumb to think someone like me could have ever stood a chance with him.” She wiped her face. “I’m fucked up, but I’ll be okay.”
Wrong. She was simply lying to herself.
She briefly sat upright to twist her back to try to relievesome of that nagging upper back pain. Her chiropractor had chalked it up to just having weak muscles, a weak upper back, and playing guitar hunched over and also being hunched over a laptop for work.
Just like she was going to open her laptop again for work.
She opened her laptop to Facebook and saw that some local businesses had approved of her resume for a few freelance jobs they needed help with and wanted to meet with her in person. A lighthearted chuckle came to her when she noticed Joey wrote her and said, “I’d like to see what you can do for my winter menu!”
She drew in a deep breath. Teddy started purring and stretched out with that little ‘mrrp’ sound. He tucked himself into a contorted ball. She petted him and lured out his purrs. They were loud and comforting. She wrote back, “Great! I’ll see you tomorrow!”
On a whim, she checked her story. Caleb had stopped watching her stories over the last month.
He hadn’t seen it.
“Whatever,” she growled under her breath. “You were watching my stories for a long time, man. Even still, you obviously were interested in me. But, whatever.” She stood up and tossed her laptop on the couch. “I don’t fucking need you in my life. I got along fine this long without you. And I’ll do it again.” She twirled around fancifully to walk to her bedroom.
She went to bed with her cat and listened to the sleet and snow patter against the window. Her foot got caught up in the disarray of the unmade bed, and she kicked the covers up a bit more to pull them over her and Teddy. She went to sleep, praying to Pawpaw and to Jesus, who she felt she needed now more than ever.
The empty bed felt so empty. Her stomach knotted, and she began to weep. She couldn’t lie to herself. No amount of temporary manic high could alter what she was truly feeling.
Shedidneed him. And she missed him terribly.
Evie rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling.
Control it.
Don’t do it.
Her hands rubbed firmly across her face and her breath quickened.
Breath in,breath out.
