The moment her fingers ran through his hair, it was now his turn to feel like he was going to either come alive or come undone. He wasn’t sure. Her hand brushed gingerly across his strong back, and it made him sigh deeply and collapse in breath. His whole body melted into the mattress, his head completely cradled by her soft belly.
Thunder sparkled outside across the Midwest sky and they both chuckled. Evie said quietly, “Of course Missouri would randomly get a thunderstorm in the fall.”
Caleb just groaned, “Mmmhmm.”
The rain echoed out in the trees and could be heard plopping little bloops. Caleb’s breath grew steadier every minute. Teddy pushed the door open and came in to join them on the bed. It was a tight fit with Caleb’s body being all scrunched up to lay on her. But somehow, they made it work.
The following morning, she had to leave for work, and he did as well, but he didn’t leave without getting his French toast and a deep kiss.
They kissed with their hands on each other’s faces, tangled within each other’s hair, pushing their bodies viciously against each other. Caleb sighed, rubbing her cheek. “I’ll be having my kids for the week as you know, so I may be sporadic with replies. Is that okay?”
She moaned in a smile, “Of course it is. You don’t have to explain anything to me. I hope you have a good week.”
He grinned with raised brows and a nod. “I’m gonna have a great week.” Before he turned to leave, he asked, “You really are afraid of guns?”
“Yep. It’s the loud, sudden noise.”
He winked. “Next weekend, I’ll teach you how to shoot.”
After one more kiss, they left the house and got in their separate cars. But a strange thing happened.
Evie never heard from him again.
Chapter Ten
Evie felt more than a little misunderstood. All alone in her house, as the months trickled on by, the plants she loved so much began to wither and die in the corner. What was once a beautiful sun dress was traded for sweatpants. A stack of bills sprawled across the kitchen table, and the trash hadn’t been taken out in two weeks. She walked along the edge of where sanity met insanity, and on this cold, deep winter day while the snow outside fell, she felt herself dying with the season. The screen door wasn’t put on right. And she didn’t care.
He never unfriended her, and occasionally he watched her stories. But he stopped interacting, and after he viewed more than a dozen well-meaning messages without responding, she stopped watching his stories and engaging with him directly. Instead, she still tried to support him by leaving good comments on his posts.
On the sofa, her cat kept her company. No one noticed the contrast of what she had become and then what she lost all over again. Everything was crumbling between wrong and right. Through her own heart, she heard her own crying. Another flurry fell outside, and she laid her forehead to her knees that were pulled into her chest.
Around that house, something radiated.
Evie felt like she was walking on a wire in some sideshow circus, noteven important enough to be the main attraction. Night after night, she would carve out his name in her heart, feeling her fists clench as she drove herself to maddening tears. With clothes all over her floor, the bed didn’t have clean or tidy linens since he turned from her. It could have only been in her head, but this time it wasn’t.
She rose from the couch to grab wine from the top of the fridge and ignored her never-ending checklists that never were completed. More schedules that weren’t met. But as Evie grabbed the bottle, she looked at it, screamed, then threw it at the wall.
It shattered.
All over, she shook uncontrollably. She had lost time, had lost track of it, and no longer understood it.
She was tired of something.
She was tired of life.
Please, catch me. I’m falling. I can’t do this.
Scribbling maniacally away in a journal full of wishes, checklists, goals and dreams used to comfort her. But now all it was doing was driving her further over the edge.
That damn pesky mania.
The serene memories of falling into his arms came, infecting her mind like vines overtaking her life.
Evie hurried outside and felt like a ghost blending into the winter fog that lingered in her yard.
“I don’t know. I feel like I’m dying. I can’t do this.”
The tears may as well have frozen to her cheeks. “I think I’m close to understanding Jesus.” She gasped through her sobs and held her chest, ignoring the shivering that permeated straight into her bones. Her mumbling was incoherent, and nothing she said would have made sense to anyone but her.
