“It’s more than okay,” he whispered. “I’m glad you know.”
My eyes closed dreamily, as I pulled that arm even tighter around my waist. I’d never felt closer to them than I did right now. And not just Carter, but all of them.
“I still haven’t figured him out though,” I murmured sleepily.
“Who?”
“Sawyer.”
Carter chuckled deeply, rocking us both. “What’s there to figure out?”
“I mean, for starters what does he do?” I prodded. “Other than work the bar with you. You say he’s a partner, but he claims you own it. That your great-uncle left it to you.”
“Grand uncle.”
“Okay, fine. And I know you were childhood friends…”
“Sawyer was always a brother to me,” Carter went on. “Everywhere I’ve gone, he’s always been there. Can’t say the same for the other way, of course. Sawyer’s visited almost thirty countries. He’s been all over the world.”
I blinked in shock. So much, that I twisted to face him.
“He has?”
“Yes.”
I squinted. “Military?”
“Sort of,” Carter nodded against the pillow we shared. Our faces were close, our voices low. Beneath the tumble of scattered blankets, our naked limbs snaked naturally around each other. Like we’d been sleeping together our whole lives.
“Sawyer’s an ex-travel photographer,” Carter explained. “Civilian, but with military contracts. He’s been to some very dangerous places. A dozen different combat zones, from what I can figure.” His hand traced upward from my hip, all the way to the side of my face. “Does that surprise you?”
I thought about it. “A little,” I admitted. “But also, not really.”
“Yeah,” laughed Carter. “Nothing surprises me about Sawyer anymore. He’s never been able to sit still; not in school, not at home, not anywhere we ever went. Helping me with The Refuge for these past few years is about the closest he’s come to settling down. But I love him for it. He’d do anything to help me, even if it means quelling his ADHD.”
The hand against the side of my face felt warm and strong. As his fingers traced lightly behind my ear, it gave me goosebumps.
“Sawyer’s fearlessness and his need to keep moving was perfect for the job he had,” Carter continued. “He also saw some very serious shit. His last assignment went sideways, though. Something in Morocco.” Carter’s handsome mouth went abruptly tight. “Whatever it was, it ended badly. When he first came home he used to talk about it, but not anymore.”
I lay there in rapt fascination, hanging on his every word. It made me realize there were so many things I still didn’t know about these men. So many secrets I could eventually unlock, with enough patience and love.
“Anyway, I know it weighed on him because he actually went home for a little while,” Carter finished. “And Sawyer never goes home.”
“Why?”
“He needed to recharge, I guess. He had to—”
“No, I mean why doesn’t he ever go home?” I asked. “I know he loves his mother very much. He talks about her all the time.”
“He does.”
“Was his father… bad to him?”
Carter’s expression was unwavering. He shook his head.
“His father didn’t bother with him at all, and that was worse I think,” said Carter. “His old man’s love is conditional. Always was.”
“Conditional upon what?”
