“I know this isn’t an excuse, and you can still hate me for it, but I never meant to betray you as a friend,” Amy began. “Cole came to me months ago, while you were still my patient. He explained he was an ex-boyfriend, and he wanted to rekindle with you. He asked for some info — simple stuff, seemingly innocent. Of course, I wouldn’t give him any.” She sniffed, and drew a shuddering breath. “But then he offered me money, Hayden. Money and help. Somehow, he knew about my mother.He knew I was trying to get her the best treatment, and that treatment was expensive. He said he’d be happy to help out, if… if I could just give him…”
“Give him what?” I prodded.
She looked up at me with her sad green eyes. “If I could just give him an edge, when it came to how to approach you again.”
And there it was. I shook my head.
“He’s been at it forthatlong?”
“Yes,” Amy confirmed. “He’s crazy for you, I see that now. But at the time, he made it seem romantic. And what he wanted, for helping me out with mom… I have to admit, it all seemed innocent at first. He wanted some information on you, and a little help. I gave him some hints, some tips. The best way to approach you, and your work schedule.”
“So that’s how he ‘just happened’ to show up at the clinic that day,” I mused. “It wasn’t by chance at all.”
“No, it wasn’t. That was me.”
I sighed wearily. “Amy, that’s so fucked up!”
“I know it is! I… I fucked up.”
“And then you went andpretendedto hit it off with me,” I muttered, disbelievingly. “And we became friends! Just so Cole could—”
“No!” she cut me off. “No, that’s not true at all!”
“Was it all bullshit?” I demanded. “Our whole friendship, just part of Cole’s master plan to get me back?”
“Hayden, NO!” she cried vehemently. “Our friendship was real. Our friendshipisreal! I love what we have together. You’re like a sister to me.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” I fumed. “Friends don’t betray each other; the way you did. And they sure as hell don’t dish on another friend’s secrets, just to make a buck.”
Amy winced, as if my words caused her physical pain. Maybe they did. She was shaking all over now, even if she still hadn’t shed a tear.
“I should never have taken a dime…” she murmured softly. “But using the money, I was able to get my mother into the better program. She showed improvement. For a little while, she was actually happy.”
Something released, deep in my chest. I knew in my heart that Amy had it rough. The past few years had been hard ones.
“How… how is she?” I asked.
“She’s okay,” Amy smiled. Her eyes were glassy now. “She has good days and bad ones. But… but it wasn’t worth it. Betraying you. Putting you in danger…”
Dropping her head in her hands, she shook it slowly.
“When Cole asked if I knew where you were the other week, I told him no,” Amy muttered. “I knew you were in Maine by then, but he was insistent. He kept badgering me, and when that didn’t work, he promised to go to the head of my practice. He threatened to tell them everything. To get my license taken away.”
“Fuck,” I swore angrily. “I could totally see him doing that.”
“I know,” she lamented. “And it’s going to happen, I’m sure. I’ve cut him off completely; and stopped taking his calls. It’s only a matter of time.”
Amy gathered herself together. She stood up abruptly.
“This whole thing is on me, Hayden. I just came here to tell you that. I don’t expect understanding, or forgiveness, or anything else. I just needed you to know what happened, and that I’m sorry.”
She crossed the room and reached for the doorknob. Something made me stop her.
“Wait.”
Fuck! He always did this! As much as a big chunk of this was Amy’s fault, Cole already had me in his sights. And I was the idiot who’d taken him back again, who’d given him hope. I was the one who thought things could somehow be different.
She did it for her mom, too.
