I nodded downward. Three of Amy’s knuckles were already in her mouth. She pulled them out, as if confused by how they got there.
“Was it romantic?” she asked, her voice lower.
Ah, good old innocent Amy. This is why I loved her so much.
“Oh yes,” I told her happily. “Wine. Hot tub. Fireplace…” I continued pretending to count on my fingers, all while watching her reaction from the corner of one eye. “Porno movies…”
“Porno movies!” she choked. Once again she glanced over both shoulders before leaning in close. “You watched porn with them!?”
“Actually, no,” I said nonchalantly. “We never got around to that.”
She tilted her head. “Never got around to—”
“We were too busydoingthe stuff in porno movies.”
I’d confided in Amy a lot. As my therapist, she knew my secrets, my desires, my deepest, darkest fantasies. But as a friend, she was privy to even more.
“Before I go into it… how’s mom?”
Amy shrugged, somehow without moving her shoulders. “The same, I guess. She still won’t eat, but they have her on these supplements now, that stabilized her weight. She’s always sick, though. Always weak.” She sighed and shook her head. “Damn, Hayden. She used to be so strong. Seeing her like this, it’s just so… so…”
“Weird?” I offered.
“Yes. That.”
“It sucks watching your parents get old,” I agreed. “No one ever prepares you for that.”
“Or for the burden of taking care of them,” Amy murmured, looking down.
“That too.”
I reached across the table and touched her hand. It was soft, but cold. There were new lines on her face, too. I wondered if she were telling me everything.
“Alright, enough stalling,” she smiled, changing gears. “Tell me about the porno stuff!”
“I will,” I promised. “But first, have you heard from Cole?”
Amy was still in go mode, salivating over the finer details of my whirlwind weekend. At the mention of my now ex ex-boyfriend, she blinked; and gained back some composure.
“Actually, no,” she admitted. “I haven’t.”
“I’m so sorry you had to deal with him,” I sighed. “I know he can be such a pain in the ass.”
“Did you finally talk to him?”
I shook my head. Her mouth dropped open for a second time.
“Hayden, you can’t avoid speaking to him forever. You owe him that much.”
“Are you kidding?” I frowned. “I don’t owe him shit.”
“Do it for closure, then,” she pivoted. “For yourself, as much as for him.”
I didn’t necessarily like the advice she was giving me, but then again Amy had never steered me wrong. It was admittedly weird, not hearing from Cole again after he’d ‘upgraded’ my apartment. Aside from an unanswered text or two asking how much I’d liked it, he’d left me alone.
Unfortunately for me, the boys had pretty much left me alone as well.
Or at least, more alone than I wanted them to.
