Not only did he just reveal why Shakur punched him in the face, but he also confirmed that they were indeed fucking. I only thought they had, but hearing him say it was a different thing.
My jaw clenched.
“So, you just let him hit you in the face and you ain’t do shit about it?” I fussed. “See, she got you mixed up with her brother.”
Havoc looked at me and shook his head like he was defending him, or maybe her.
“I was fucking his little sister, Trini. He was just protecting her, just like I would protect you. I would have done the same thing if I found out a nigga I didn’t like put his hands on you.”
My face fell.
“What do you mean? I’m like a sister to you?”
I wasn’t a woman in his eyes. A woman who could one day be his. I was a sister.
“Of course, Trini. I would go toe-to-toe with any nigga over you, just like he did. Real nigga shit.”
Shattered. I was completely fucking shattered. All this time, I thought that Havoc at least saw me as a woman, but a sister wasn’t a woman to a man, but just the female version of him. Not someone to love romantically, but love like family. He was the only person who defended me and spoke to me when nobody else did. Without my family, I had no identity until Havoc came and gave me one.
After years and years of being by his side, I finally saw how he saw me, and it hurt. Hurt to my core. All the protection he gave me, even confronting Anton for me, was because he loved me as family.
When I first saw that girl, I wondered what she had that I didn’t, which would make him let her in, but he just showed me that it was everything.
I could walk right in front of Havoc, buck ass naked, and he probably wouldn’t look my way. Because I wasn’t a female to him—I was his sister.
My head fell, and the words got stuck in my throat. I just felt numb.
“I was wrong as fuck, Trini. I didn’t know who she was in the beginning, but I’d already been inside of her by then. I should have stopped or at least told her that I knew her brother, but I didn’t. I can’t be mad at the nigga for protecting his.”
His words cut me in a deep place. As I sat there looking at him, I could see the guilt on his face.
I turned my head and stared at nothing. My mind blank. My heart blank. I was empty. My eyes closed, and my fists clenched down at my side. I was silent. Too silent because I was afraid of what I might say or do.
Havoc had hurt me with this one. A hurt I wasn’t sure I could come back from.
The tears stung at my eyes.
“Trini!” Havoc yelled my name when I stormed out of the house and jumped in my car. I sped away before he could stop me.
An aggravated scream erupted from my throat. I was angry. Angry at Havoc. Angry at myself for believing I had a chance. Angry because Anton was right. He told me so many times that Havoc didn’t see me like that, and I wouldn’t believe him.
It took this strange girl—Shakur’s sister—to make my world come crashing down. I zoomed all the way to Oblique’s shop. Someone told me that was where Shakur was likely to be, and I was happy to see that he was.
I couldn’t hurt Havoc for breaking me, for pushing me into this mess. And I couldn’t hurt Shakur’s sister, but there was no reason why I couldn’t use him to pacify this rage inside of me.
Without even thinking, I rushed out of my car and over to him. Shakur turned to look at me just in time. I swung, but he dodged it and pushed me away from him. My hands were shaking as I fought to keep my tears at bay.
“The fuck is your problem?” he asked. Ignoring him, I swung again, and this time he caught my fist.
“You want to fight somebody, fight me,” I gritted quietly. Shakur squinted his eyes at me, and then he laughed before pushing me away again.
“Oh, I remember you. Havoc’s little groupie that followed him around,” he said, laughing, and my mouth fell.
“I didn’t recognize you at the basketball court the other night, but I knew I’d seen you before. So, what, you came to fight your friend’s battle?”
“Nah, I came to warn you!” I yelled, pointing in his face. Again, he laughed like I was a joke.
“Sweetheart, keep your mans away from my sister and we won’t have any problems,” he shrugged.
