“Cat?” My speech is slurred and I trip over…I don’t really know.
“Oh. So you do know who I am? I thought maybe you forgot because you’ve been ignoring me like I’m some stranger off the street. What the fuck, Hayes?”
She pushes me and I hit the wall behind me. My head spins and everything seems to be moving in slow motion. By the time my brain processes it all, I can see that we are standing in the mudroom off the side of the house. A small nightlight shines from where it’s plugged into the wall, but the dim light doesn’t make my girl any less beautiful.
“What the fuck to you too, darlin’.”
Her face scrunches up with confusion. “I don’t know whatyou’retalking about, but I’m talking about the fact that you’ve been ignoring me and being a straight up jerk all night.”
“Well at least I don’t have other girls wanting to hang out with me for New Year’s Eve.”
“What are you saying? Maybe you should stop drinking.” She reaches out for my bottle but I snatch it away.
“I’m saying that Phoenix said his teammate wants to hook up with you for New Year’s Eve and I can’t say one motherfucking thing about it because you’re still too embarrassed to tell people about us.”
“Hayes.” She steps towards me and lays her hand on my chest. I flinch and turn my head away because I can’t stand how beautiful she is. “We’ve already talked about this. Multiple times. I thought we agreed to wait until things had blown over with Nix and Bish.”
“No,youtalked about it and I just went along because I’ll do anything to keep you. But Cat…I’m dying. Watching everyone getting to hug and kiss one another while I can only watch fromafar is killing me. I want to hold your hand and pull you into my lap as we snuggle by the fire. But you won’t let me.”
She touches my face, nudging me to look at her. “What do you want from me, Hayes? I’ve already told you my reasons for waiting and we’re literally days away from Bishop and Nix making amends. I can tell.”
“So what’s the big deal if we tell them about us now or in a few days? It seems like you’re holding back for some other reason. Do you have another guy in the wings?”
“No. Of course not. That’s silly,” she scoffs.
“Then what! Fuck. This is bullshit. And I’m not gonna wait around for you to decide when to have pity on me. I’m not some dumb kid, Cat. I’m a man who’s madly in love with a woman and I want everyone to know. Can’t you understand that?”
I turn to walk away but she wraps herself around me. “I do understand because I’m madly in love with you. And I want to share that fact with all of our friends and family. I’ll rent a hot air balloon and fly a banner over the ranch telling everyone how crazy, obsessed in love with you I am. But can it just wait until Bishop can be there, too? That’s all I ask.”
“And all I ask is that you make me a priority over everyone else.” I shrug her off of me and she falls silent.
It’s sad but I’m getting used to this from her. And I don’t know why I continue to allow myself to be treated like this. Whatever her hang up is needs to be figured out, but she’ll have to do it without me.
“I need to go.”
“I’ll leave, too. Give me a few minutes and I’ll be right behind you.” She reaches for the door leading back out to the side of the house but I stop her.
“Leave if you want, but I’m going home and I don’t want you there.” She drops her hand and takes a small step back. “I thinkmaybe it’s best if we take a break until you figure out what you really want.”
“I do know. It’s you. I want you.”
“Well when you’re finally ready to let others know, you’ll know where to find me.” I push past her and out the door.
I don’t bother saying goodbye to anyone or even look back. I dig my keys from my pocket, jump inside my truck and haul ass away from Cat and the mess she’s made.
16
CATHIA
“Did Hayes just leave?” I jump at the sound of Cami’s voice.
I swipe an errant tear away and turn around to face her standing in the doorway leading back into the house.
“Yeah. I guess he was tired. He had a few too many drinks and it looked like he was about to pass out. I’m sure he’ll call Vaughan tomorrow.”
My throat is clogged with emotion and my heart is mapped with cracks of my own doing. God, I hate women that are indecisive and play games. They play the victim when really, the problem starts with them. But now, I’ve become the very thing I despise and I have no good explanation for it other than I’m scared.
Scared and stupid apparently because I just let him walk away. Again.
