“Unlike Melanie, you have a chance Jack. You can change the outcome.” She placed a hand on my cheek and I closed my eyes, taking in each of her words. “Melanie’s not gone, Jack.”
She was right. Melanie wasn’t gone, she just wasn’t with me.
Unlike before, I wasn’t going to be the one chasing after Melanie because if she wanted this, she needed to be the one to come for it. She would be the one to have to show me what it is she wanted.
I was just hoping that she wanted what I wanted.
Nineteen
I’d managedto slip past the front desk and up the stairs without attracting any attention at The Ink Well. It was when I got to my floor that I was worried. I pulled down on the ball cap I had on, making sure to not make eye contact with anyone as I made a beeline for my fortress.
It’d been three days since I’d gone to my mom’s and while I was getting along fine with only email’s to Max, I needed to get some of my files to work on finally. Max had understood I needed time and told me I could work from home but that he needed me in the office by the end of the week. He didn’t need to see me, just needed to know that I was here. I grabbed the few files I needed and slipped them into my messenger bag.
“You know Myrtle sees all and never keeps her mouth shut.” I looked over my shoulder to see Max standing in my office. The door was closed behind him so that it was only us in the room.
“Ma-”
“Jac-”
We both tried talking at the same time but our names crashed together.
“You go first.” I motioned for Max to continue as I fumbled around my desk, trying to seem busy with grabbing anything extra that I needed.
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
“There’s no reason for you to be sorry, Max. I’m meeting my deadlines but I needed to come in to grab a few files for references.”
“Take as much time as you need, Jack.”
“Seriously?” I turned around, seeing sincerity written across Max’s face.
“Yes.” Max came toward me and from the looks of it, he’d been getting about as much sleep as I had been, which was none. His dark circles matched mine and I wondered what was keeping him up at night. It wasn’t like he’d had his heart broken or that even his sister had her heart broken.
“I don’t know what you’re going through but if you’re feeling even half of what Melanie is feeling right now, then I get it.”
“You have no idea what I’m feeling, Max.” I took a step toward him, poking a finger into his chest. He wasn’t allowed to bring up Melanie and her feelings, especially when he was implying that she might be hurting more than me.
“I know I don’t but she told me what happened and I hope you two finally get the time to talk.”
“Then she needs to be the one to come and talk to me, Max. She’s the one who pretended like it was nothing when I confessed my love for her. She was the one who said she could never love me and that I was never allowed to see Amelia again, Max.”
“Jack,” Max tried to interrupt but I wasn’t having it. I managed to not have to talk to my brother about what had happened and I was hoping that I wouldn’t see Max for this exact reason but he was the one bringing it up. So, he was the one who was going to get the brunt of my hurt.
“No, Max. She’s the one who made this end, who didn’t give me the chance to try to save it. She practically ran out the door that night, like what she was saying had no impact on me.” A lump was forming in my throat. I hadn’t cried in two days and I wasn’t about to right now. “I would love for this to be fixed, Max, but she has to be the one to do the fixing. I did everything I could to make her see what I could give her and she threw it away in the matter of minutes.”
“I never said what she did was right but I am saying I understand it.”
“I do too, Max.” My voice rose. I knew Max wasn’t trying to defend Melanie but he was trying to get me to see reason and I didn’t want to do that yet. I wanted to revel in my pity and anger for a little while longer. “I completely understand it, that’s why I told her I love her. I said it because I want to be there when she breaks, when Amelia breaks. If anyone besides Melanie understands what’s going on, it’s me, Max. Not you.”
I turned away, heading toward the door.
“She’s broken right now, too.”
“Good,” the word felt wrong coming from my mouth but I didn’t want Max to know him telling me that affected me. The fact that Melanie was hurting as much as I was would break me even more. It might even break me enough to go to her first but that wasn’t happening.
“Don’t be so crude, Jack. I know you’re hurting but so is she. So is Amelia. She’s constantly asking where you are. Just give Melanie time, I know she’ll come around and realize what it is you are trying to give her.”
I stopped at the door with words ready to slip from my mouth from more anger. The fact that Max was bringing up Amelia set me off but I wasn’t going to give him any more satisfaction with seeing how dedicated to this relationship I still was. Instead, I walked out of the office and headed downstairs, not caring now who saw me.
