Damn it. There was no more stopping the words that were choosing now to come from my lips.
“I love you,” the words fumbled out of my mouth, not in the smoothest was I’d wanted to tell her. I froze in my seat, watching in slow motion as Melanie’s shoulders rose and stayed next to her ears. Her arm stopped stirring the chicken and she reached across the stove and turned it off.
I felt it in that moment, the long seconds that drug by, that my words, the ones I so desperately had wanted to say, were the worst thing I could have ever said to Melanie in this moment. The air in the room had gone from light and airy to being able to cut the tension with a knife.
“Jack.” My name was cold coming from her mouth and the last time I had heard her say my name like that was when she came back to Atlanta. It wasn’t a tone I thought I would ever hear from her again.
It was one that screamed distain.
It was a voice that I hated because that voice hated me.
“Melanie.”
She still hadn’t turned around to look at me and what I needed was her full attention right now.
“Melanie,” I said her name again, this time with a little more force. Her shoulders pulled back down and her spine straightened, like she was gearing up for a battle I didn’t want to happen. I slid off the bar stool and moved toward her. I reached out to turn her around to look at me but she turned around before I could get to her. The look on her face wasn’t what I expected.
I thought I would see anger for telling her about my feelings but instead I saw sadness. A sadness that I hadn’t seen since Melanie broke down about her husband dying. I took a step toward her, my hand reaching out to touch her face but she pushed it away and took a step back, her back hitting the stove.
The kitchen was filled with the scent of half-baked chicken and raw bacon that hadn’t been put into the oven yet. It was a momentary distraction from the fact that Melanie was pulling away. I’d seen her do this when I brought up Amelia and even the day I hadn’t answered my phone but this wasn’t me asking anything of her or bringing up painful memories. This was me giving her my all but yet, she had the same reaction.
I followed her suit and stood straighter, ready to fight for the woman I loved.
“Talk to me,” I finally spoke up again.
“There’s nothing to talk about.”
Just like that Melanie was back to the stone-cold princess that I had first fallen for. The one who was standoffish and wanted nothing to do with me. Her arms crossed over her chest and anger rose through me.
“There most definitely is. I just told you that I loved you.”
“And I said there was nothing to talk about.”
“Don’t do this.” I took a step toward her but she moved to the side, stepping around me. She moved to the other side of the kitchen, her arms still crossed over her chest, but the message was clear.
Stay away.
“I’m not doing anything, Jack.”
“The fuck you aren’t.” My nostrils flared, my anger at top notch now. She was pretending that I hadn’t just said the three most important words of my life. That I wasn’t declaring my love for her. That I didn’t have a fucking ring in my pocket. “I just said that I fucking love you and now you’ve got this wall up. So, don’t tell me you aren’t doing anything, Melanie.”
“Stop saying that!” she finally broke, her arms shooting open as she screamed at me. I jerked back in surprise at her raising her voice. I knew how much of a hot head I could be but I had never once seen Melanie lost her cool, not even around Amelia.
“No,” my word was firm. I wasn’t going to stop saying how I felt about her. Not now, not ever. “What are you scared of, Melanie? Scared of me saying how I feel about you?”
I took a step closer to her, not caring for her hands coming back down to stop me. I grabbed them and pulled her the rest of the way toward me. She pushed at my chest but I held her still in my arms, trying to get her to understand how monumental this moment was. That I wasn’t going anywhere no matter how hard she pushed away this time.
“I fucking love you, Melanie,” my words were softer now but had just the same force as before. It was a declaration from my soul.
I waited there for what felt like minutes, when it was bound to be only seconds.
Then she finally spoke.
I secretly wish she hadn’t.
“I can’t say those words to you, Jack.”
I hadn’t expected her to but how my heart broke, made me realize how much I had wanted her to say it back to me.
