“Okay.” I was timid in my response to her, not really sure if I wanted to hear what she had to say. I was confused on why me not answering my phone had upset her so much but I was pretty sure I was about to find out.
“Has Max ever told you how Wade died?”
“I remember him saying something about his heart.”
“That’s exactly what it was.” Melanie pulled out of my arms and stood from the bed, pacing slowly in front of me. “His heart stopped, Jack.”
“A heart attack.”
“No,” Melanie said the word firmly and looked up at the ceiling. “It wasn’t a heart attack, even though that’s what most people equate it to but it wasn’t. His heart stopped. It was beating one second and then it wasn’t the next. It didn’t try to restart or sputter out, it just stopped.”
Melanie stopped pacing and turned toward me. Fresh tears were streaming down her face as I sat on the edge of her bed. My hands kneaded themselves in my lap as I ate up everything she was saying and every emotion she was giving.
“I was out with Amelia that day, running errands while Wade was working at home. It was supposed to be his day off but he had some paperwork left to do that he decided he could do at home rather than going into work.” Melanie covered her mouth and looked up again to the ceiling. “Oh, how I wish he’d gone to work, then maybe someone could have helped him.”
She wiped away the tears from her face again.
“I tried to call him a few times while I was at the store, seeing if he needed anything last minute but he didn’t answer. It wasn’t like him. He always answered, especially because of him working for the hospital. I tried to call him ten times and when he didn’t answer the last time, I knew something was wrong.” Melanie chuckled to herself and I watched as her face changed as she was clearly remembering that day. “I left an entire buggy of groceries in the middle of aisle ten at Walmart and didn’t even care.”
She shook her head and I was perched on the edge of the bed, waiting in anticipation for her to continue.
“I ran with Amelia out to the car, put her in her car seat, and drove straight home. It took me five minutes to get there and I’d only been gone twenty minutes. When I got to the house, I took Amelia to our neighbors and had them call 911 immediately.”
Melanie stopped, taking a deep breath. She needed to prepare for what she was about to say next and I needed that moment as much as she did. Tears were forming in my eyes, not from the pain she felt on that day but from the pain that was spreading across her face now. She was reliving that moment. I knew it was a moment she’d been reliving for the last year and one she’d continue to relive every single day of her life.
“I didn’t need to walk into the house to know what I was walking in to.” Melanie turned to face me and made her way to stand between my legs, both hands cupping my face as I closed my eyes, ready to hear the finale of this epic tale.
“I figured Wade was probably in the study, so that’s where I went first, leaving the front door open for when the police and ambulance got there. When I didn’t see Wade immediately in the study, I turned around to walk away but something in my subconscious had told me I’d seen something that I hadn’t realized. I turned around and went back into the study.
“He was lying on the floor, his laptop having fallen from the desk, lying beside him. I called his name three time while rushing over to him, rolling him onto his back, and trying to feel for a pulse anywhere I could reach. It was no use. I couldn’t get anything. I hadn’t realized I’d been laying on the floor with Wade dead in my arms until a paramedic came in the room and tried to pull me away from him. I didn’t want to let go, I couldn’t let go, because I knew if I did, that was going to be the last time I ever saw him and I wasn’t ready for that yet.”
Melanie rested her forehead against mine, letting her tears run free as they made a pattern on my dress shirt. I pulled her closer, holding her waist.
“My neighbor was waiting outside with Amelia by the time an officer was able to escort me out of the house. I ran to her, taking her in my arms as tears fell from my eyes and I squeezed her in my arms. It was hours upon hours of talking to different officers about what had happened and by the time they got Wade to the hospital, they’d already pronounced him dead in the ambulance.
“I was asked many times if I’d had family in the area and told them no. I was encouraged to reach out to family to let them know what happened but I couldn’t do it right away. I refused to talk to anyone: friends, family, no one. It wasn’t until Max got on an airplane and flew out to California and confronted me at my door, did anyone besides me and Wade’s work know that he’d died. I’d been so focused on taking care of Amelia, that I hadn’t even considered taking care of myself.”
“Melanie,” her name slipped from my mouth softly and it was foreign to hear pain come from myself. I was used to being the one who had it together, even during the rough times. There was something with how open Melanie was being though, that had me wanting to crumple next to hear and cry the same tears she was. I wanted her to see that I felt her pain, even though I didn’t know it first hand.
“Max took a week off of work, helping me get my life back together, planning the funeral, getting Wade’s life insurance finalized, so Amelia and I wouldn’t be hurting. I had no idea what to do with my life without having Wade there but I had to learn and I had to learn fast, for Amelia’s sake.”
“I think you’ve done a spectacular job, Melanie.”
“So does Max.” Melanie pulled away and allowed herself to laugh for the first time tonight.
“Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of Wade’s death and Max commented on how much I’ve changed since the day he showed up. I was in week old gym clothes, hadn’t taken a shower, or even eaten in three days. I looked a mess but the house looked spotless and Amelia was none the wiser as to what had happened yet.”
“How did you tell her?”
“It was a process but Max helped me sit her down to tell her what had happened to her daddy. It was hard at first because she didn’t quite understand but after a month, I think she got it. She kept saying how she would still try to talk to daddy every night, just to see if he would come say goodbye to her. That’s always been her biggest thing, Jack. She never got to say goodbye and it’s the only thing she’s been hung up on.”
“I’ll be there for both of you, Melanie. No matter if it’s helping Amelia talk to her father or holding you when you remember that day.”
“Jack.” Tears started to fall from her eyes again but this time I reached up to wipe them away.
“I’ll even make sure that my phone is on loud at all times and when you call, I’ll always answer. No matter if I’m in a meeting or deep in graphics, I’ll always pick up for you.”
“Jack,” Melanie said my name again but this time instead of tears, she collapsed into my arms and I held her tight against my chest.
