I looked Max straight in the eye with the most serious face I could give him. I had said I would never tell my friends and I never really intended to, but fuck it. Max was right, there was a possibility I could lose her if I didn’t make this right in the best way possible, and that meant making her mine.
“Talk to me.”
His whole demeanor changed. He went from being the “I don’t give a fuck” guy I’d known for forever to this new man Alexa turned him into. A man who cared and listened and I just didn’t know how much I was about to share with him, but I knew looking at him, that he was all ears.
“I’ve known Erica since I was seven.”
“Okay.” Max moved to the edge of the couch, wide-eyed. “Wasn’t expecting that.”
“I lived in Atlanta for a few years when I was younger and when I was nine, just before school started, that was when my father had us move to Savannah.” I took a deep breath and launched into the story that was Erica and mine. “When I left her, I knew how I felt about her, and yeah, you might think that’s crazy for a nine-year-old to be in love, but that’s exactly what it was. We didn’t keep in touch, but I came back freshman year of high school and she had no idea who I was, so I faked not knowing her.”
“That’s fucked up.” Max shook his head at me.
“I know, but I didn’t want to freak her out. We were teenagers. Who wants to hear about some kid who loved you and you have no idea who they are anymore?”
“So, what did you do?”
“She kept her distance and so did I. I had girls asking me out on dates, but I never thought anything more of them. I kept thinking about her constantly, finding her on social media, just to keep some semblance of a tab on her. I didn’t see her again until I was coming back here to start college. I watched her in the airport for hours as she got on a plane and flew away to North Carolina.”
“So. Tell me.” Max brought his hands together and placed them under his chin. I could see the wheels turning in his head with all the questions he wanted to lay out to me. “Where does everything you’re feeling right now come from? You saw her leave for college, but why now?”
“She walked into our company.”
“That was the first time you saw her since you saw her at the airport?” Max looked amazed at me, probably thinking back to that day and how I’d acted.
“Yeah.” I looked down at my hands and still tried to process what exactly I was getting at. “She walked in there and I created this game plan in my head, but when she sat next to me on her first day in the office and she introduced herself, I knew I was going to have to start fresh, so that’s what I’ve been doing.”
“Well, it doesn’t seem to be going so well.” Max chuckled at me and I punched his arm.
“Not funny, but it’s true.”
“You’ve been starting fresh with her for seven damn years, Chase. What the hell else do you expect to happen? Besides her thinking you are crazy, because I can tell you this now, she’s going to.”
“Don’t you think I know that? That I haven’t thought about that. When she walked into that office I thought I had it all planned out, but then I had no actual idea of how to do anything, so I froze. I froze for three damn years, Max. Then when I saw her at the holiday party when we first moved into the new office, something changed. Seeing Erica in a different light outside of the office sparked something. We talk almost every day. We have lunch together and even started climbing Stone Mountain together a few years ago. She showed me the scenic photos she took and when we worked on projects together, the close proximity felt so natural. Me leaning against a table just to get closer to her, like that was how I was supposed to live my life. But how do you go from all that, all those seven years to saying that you want something more when all I’ve ever done was hinted at it, and got nothing in return. And that, Max, iswhyI’ve been so distant with her lately, but after seeing Marcus make a move, I can’t let it happen again. I won’t let it happen again.”
“What are you going to do about it then, Chase? Because clearly you’ve not hinted in the right ways or else something would have happened. If you’ve made it known how you’ve felt, then she would have at least said something. What I’m seeing is you being scared, Chase. So tell me honestly, what are you going to do about it?”
I paused, knowing what I needed to do, but Max was right. I’d thought I was being blunt, even after being on Stone Mountain with her years ago, but clearly it wasn’t blunt enough. Instead, I was going to have to take a page out of Marcus’s book and just ask her.
“Ask her on a date.”
I leaned back on the couch and draped my arm over the side of the sofa. I looked cool and calm, when in reality my heart was beating so fast, I was sure I was going to have a heart attack with just the thought of taking that next step. A step I knew I should have taken a long time ago and now with it being my future, it scared this shit out of me.
“What are you going to do if she says no?”
Shit.
I had tried not to think about that, because every time I did, I talked myself out of asking her. I didn’t want to think about that because I knew I would chicken out again, and I just couldn’t have that this time.
“I’ll live in denial.”
“Chase, let’s be real,” Max chided me.
“I am, Max. I am being real. I’ve loved this woman for so long, I just don’t feel it in my bones that there can be anyone else. It can only be her.” I looked him straight in the eyes again, and that’s when the smile pulled on Max’s face.
“Now. What are you going to do if she says yes?”
“Take her to the Old Mills diner off of Fifth and then show her the river bank we found junior year with the tree house.”
