Chapter Eight
2010 - Graduation
Erica
My arms hung loosely in the gown as I stood behind the podium and looked out at the sea of classmates in front of me. I gripped onto the edge of the wood, took a deep breath, and continued to speak to my graduating class about how we were about to go into the real world, and there was no way to stop it.
“No matter how many late hours we spent up studying”—I paused for good affect—“or not studying.”
Laughter broke out across the stadium we were in. Our graduating class of 2010 from Duke University was a big one, and this was only the math and science majors. The whole floor was taken up by chairs and now former students, and the stands held all of our loved ones, with very few seats to spare if someone came in late.
“We all devoted the last four years, or however many it has taken you, to getting to this point. This isn’t where it ends for us, guys. This is where it starts.”
I looked back down at my notes, preparing for the next part of my speech, the part that set me apart from most everyone else here today, which was why the dean had asked me to speak to our class. It didn’t take magic to make our dreams and careers happen. Sometimes it just took one small idea and determination to get there. I had created a program, or app, as most people would call it, for my final to graduate, and lucky enough for me, it had sold once it launched. A company out in Atlanta swooped it up, but wanted to remain silent in the exchange. I was told it was going to be a game changer for their business, and I had felt so proud in that moment.
“I was determined enough to create a software that could help businesses. It took endless nights, with very little sleep, multiple app updates, and even a complete overhaul near the end of it all. For me, it’s never about the ending to the goal, it’s about the journey.”
I took a breath and reached into my gown, digging into the pocket of my pants I had on, pulling out a piece of cold metal I always carried with me. The dog tag was pinched between my fingers and I moved it around in my hand until my index finger was through the loop of the keychain and my thumb was rubbing over the words that were once engraved into it.
Chase had given me that keychain thirteen years ago, and it had always been a lucky charm for me. It was also my worry stone when it came to anxiety. I always pulled it out and rubbed it until I felt like I could do whatever it was I had my mind set to.
Can I keep you?
Those were the words once on this keychain, and even though they were no longer readable, my heart still knew when it felt the metal touch my fingers. It knew that question Chase had asked me. It knew the way I still felt about him and in this moment I needed that. I was talking about the journey of life and damn had we had a journey, but the only downside was that I had no idea when this journey would end, or if it would ever have an ending.
I looked down at the dog tag in my hand and then back up at the audience and continued my speech after closing my eyes and taking a deep breath, readying to give whatever kind of wisdom I could throw their way.
“During this time I learned patience, new skills, who my real friends were who stayed up late and beta tested the software. I even learned that in all of this it isn’t about making a legacy for others, but making a legacy for yourself. I’m proud of what I’ve been able to accomplish with my time here at Duke, and I hope, even if it didn’t happen while you were here, that you get to make a legacy for yourself as well.”
I had left a legacy for the school, but more so, I had created a legacy for myself. Knowing that no matter what I put my mind to do, I knew I could succeed. The crowd erupted into cheers and I looked over at where Melissa was sitting, giving me a thumbs-up. We had spent our last night in our apartment before today and it was bittersweet, but where I was moving back to Atlanta, Melissa was traveling around the world with a history professor she had fallen in love with. We didn’t have the kind of relationship that we were crying that we wouldn’t be together anymore, but I knew that if she ever needed me or I needed her, we could always reach out.
I looked at the balcony stands around the stadium, spying my parents standing amongst the crowd of parents who were seated, not as enthusiastic. They were also holding a large sign that said my name on it. They were clear across the stadium and I could still read it and my face heated immediately.
I lifted my hand and waved to everyone, stepping away from the podium and to the line of chairs that were on the stage. The dean wanted me to sit with the faculty and shake hands of those who walked across the stage, and then I would be last. My mind wondered aimlessly as each graduate crossed the stage, and then finally Melissa came to me and wrapped me in a bear hug before exiting the stage.
Luckily the college had divided the days for majors, which meant the ceremony would only last a few hours, rather than all day. But it had felt like it was taking years to get through as each student came up to the stage. When it was finally over and the last student took their seat, we all threw out caps into the air and made a beeline for the exit.
I had a back door exit from the stage, but getting to my parents was another thing altogether. They said they were waiting with Melissa under one of the light poles outside, but the crowd of family members doubled us graduates. I finally saw Melissa’s small hand in the air waving for me and I made my way over to them.
“You did amazing!” my mom exclaimed and pulled me into a bear hug just like Melissa had on stage.
“Good job, kid.” Dad leaned in and kissed my forehead before Melissa moved in for another hug herself.
“I can’t believe we’ve graduated!” She jumped up and down around me and a laugh escaped my lips watching her excitement.
“Why don’t I get a photo of you two?” I handed my mom my phone and stood next to Melissa, both of us still donning our caps and gowns. Melissa wrapped her arms around my waist and I wrapped mine around her neck. We both faced the phone and my mom snapped a few photos.
She handed me the phone back and my mom started questioning Melissa on what she was going to do next. They talked about where Melissa would be traveling to, and she even pointed out the professor she was going with, who was talking to a group of students off to the side of the stadium.
I thumbed through my phone at the photos my mom had taken and picked out the best one where both Melissa and me had our eyes open and posted it to Facebook. While I was on, I scrolled briefly, seeing a few other friends graduating today as well, but stopped when I saw the most important person. Chase had posted a selfie of him in his cap and gown just a few hours ago. I clicked the like button at the bottom of the photo and then studied it for a few more seconds.
Chase looked happy with the half smile and tongue sticking out in his cap and gown. The one thing I was surprised to see on his Facebook when he friend requested me, was that he stated he was going to Georgia State University. I had left Atlanta and he had gone back, but now the tables might turn. I was heading back and I hoped with all my might he would stay long enough for me to possibly run into him.
A notification popped up in my app and I look to see that Chase liked the photo I had posted. My heart skipped a beat, stopped, and then started beating erratically, not knowing what to do in this situation. I pulled out the keychain from my pocket and started to rub it. We were friends on the social media app, but we had never interacted with one another through it before. The last time Melissa had brought it up, I’d had a full-blown panic attack and she never spoke of it again. In fact, this was the first time I had ever liked anything he had posted, and now he was liking my picture.
Maybe this was the next step in our journey, that I could reach out to him, let him know I was coming back to Atlanta? My thumb hovered over the comment button, but was frozen in motion. What if I did comment, would he remember me? We’d been friends on here for years, so there was a chance he’d seen my posts before. But he also probably had a lot of friends with being the senator’s son and all.
I pressed the button, not trying to think about it any longer and just do, but when the page loaded for me to comment, another one was already there. Tabitha Marie was the name that was plastered in front of me, and the comment read, “So proud! Love you, Chase!” and when those words were done being read, my heart stopped again, but this time for a different reason.
