And I got it. I totally understood where everyone was coming from, but it could have been done in a better way.
“We haven’t really talked about it.” I shrugged my shoulders, pretending like the topic hadn’t been eating away the back of my brain for the last few days. I took a bite of my slider as though I didn’t care what the answer was going to be, even though my heart was racing with the anxiety I was trying to hide.
“Aren’t you guys supposed to go to the courthouse tomorrow first?” Erica got the question out first before Alexa could.
“Yeah, so after that, we’ll probably let Max know whatever our decision is.” I answered after I swallowed the bite of my slider and then reached for another piece of candied bacon.
“What do you mean, ‘whatever our decision is’?” Alexa looked at me like I had two heads.
“Well, we’re going to let the judge know tomorrow if we still want to be married or not. If one of us says no, she’ll grant the divorce.” I continued to eat, but Alexa and Erica had their full attention on me.
“Do you want the divorce?” Erica posed the question to me and I already knew my answer because it was the first word that came out of my mouth.
“No.” Alexa reached over to grab my hand and squeezed my hand. I had just admitted to both of them that my heart had changed. That what I’d been so dead set on a month ago had completely changed.
“Have you told Greg this yet?”
“No,” I said sheepishly. I hadn’t admitted to him either that I didn’t want us to get a divorce, but he had been the one to say right off the bat that he didn’t want to divorce, so I knew when we went into the courthouse tomorrow morning my answer would be music to his ears.
“I think you should tell him tonight.” Erica chimed in.
“You think?” I asked wearily, unsure if that was the best thing to do. I knew we had to talk about it, but I just didn’t know what to say that hadn’t already been said.
“We know so.” Alexa and Erica had exchanged glances and I knew they were right.
I took a deep breath and thought about it. I needed to do this.
Tonight I would tell Greg that I wanted us to stay married.
That I wanted us to have a future.
That I wanted his last name.
But I never got the chance.
