“Every time I see you two, you always seem different,” Tessa ushered us into her office. I tried to hide my face because, I promise you, anyone who saw me right now could probably tell that not even thirty minutes ago, Greg had his cock shoved deep inside of me and had me begging to leave to go to our session so that we could come back as soon as it was done.
Greg and I took our respective sides on the couch, not because I didn’t want us to sit together, but because before we came here I had asked him to keep an open mind for what I wanted to talk about in today’s session. He seemed a little wary at first but agreed.
“I want to talk about our communication,” I started when Tessa took her seat in front of us.
“How did the date go?” Tessa’s words and mine collided, but she waved a hand for me to continue as she grabbed for her pad and pen. “Go ahead, Lilly.”
I took a deep breath, ready to lay it all on the line today.
“Greg and I suck at communicating, and I don’t think it’s because we don’t want to, but because we’re afraid of the outcome.”
I looked over to Greg who just nodded his head in agreement.
“The date didn’t go so well this weekend. Greg asked another woman out on a date and never told me anything about it. He even brought her to the club with us and all of our friends. He introduced her to everyone like it wasn’t a big deal, which it was.”
Tessa jotted down some notes and then put her full attention back on me.
“I was really hurt by it, especially because after it happened we didn’t talk about it. We just had sex and then Greg left. He was out of town on business and I had to find out from our boss that he wasn’t going to be back in for a few days. I decided that I was going to work from home and wait for Greg. I know, a little dramatic, but I wanted to make sure that once he got back that I was able to grab him before he disappeared again.”
“Lilly, we talked last time about you two not communicating and the flare for dramatics. Do you think this was the best way to handle the situation?”
“No, but truthfully, I didn’t know what else to do. We needed to talk things out and he wasn’t answering me.”
“I had to leave town for work.” Greg repeated my statement from before.
“It’s more than that Greg,” I turned towards him. “Max told me you had to leave town for work. You never told me anything. You went on a date with another woman, fucked me, and then left me in the dust. You left my bed and then left the city. You then had a friend, our boss, tell me that you left town for a few days to meet with a client. How do you think that looks to me? How do you think this makes me feel?”
Tears were brimming in my eyes because the conversation we had earlier was only the tip of the iceberg to where this conversation was going now.
“Greg?” Tessa turned to question Greg.
“I didn’t see it that way, Lilly.” He inched closer to me on the couch. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t consider you in all of this. I’m not used to having to tell someone where I’m going, what I’m doing, especially not in the capacity of a relationship.”
“We used to text each other all the time. I know your work schedule like the back of my hand.” I countered.
“But it was never about when I had to go out of town for work. I never write those on my calendar because they pop up last minute, almost always. We used to text each other to hang out, when we were leaving our apartment, so you friends wouldn’t see that I lived next door. I’m not used to telling someone who I love that I have to leave town for a few days because of work. That I’m going to go out with the guys to a bar. That I wanted to take a day trip to see my parents. I’ve not had to give that kind of dedication to someone before, but damn it Lilly, I want to give it to you.”
My focus never wavered from Greg as the tears streamed down my face. He reached across and wiped away a few of them. He said he loved me. He said he wanted to give me that kind of dedication. My heart was erratic with the love coursing through it.
“Is there anything else you would like to add to this, Greg?” Tessa asked. I could see in Greg’s eyes that he had more to say and I had no idea what else he could tell me that wouldn’t make me cry more. Greg stood up and kneeled in front of me with his hands resting on my thighs, making me his only intended target with the words he was about to say.
“I know you said early on in all of this that one of your biggest fears was that you thought I was going to leave you. I still have no idea where that comes from.”
“Lilly?” I looked up at Tessa’s questioning look. Her and Greg were waiting for my answer.
“Do you seriously not know?” I asked Greg.
“No.” Greg laughed and then looked at me with a serious face. “Tell me.”
“You kissed me two years ago, Greg. You kissed me and then never said a damn thing about it and just pretended like it didn’t even happen. I engraved it in my head after that day I wasn’t going to let you leave me like that again.”
Greg sat back on his heels and rubbing his hands over his thighs, thinking about what I just said.
“Wait, at the Christmas party?” He laughed and then looked up at me. Agitation set in as his laughter filled the room. The tears I had immediately stopped and my guard started build back up.
“Greg.” Tessa admonished him. Greg placed his hands back onto my thighs and inched closer to me.
“I’m sorry, I’m just confused.” Greg leaned up so that his face was only inches from mine and he whispered so only we would hear. Do you not remember what you told me that night?”
