“I heard someone else on the other end.”
“Don’t know what you’re talking about, but I’ll see you soon and I’ll call Alexa over, too.”
When I finally got to Erica’s townhouse Alexa’s car was already in the driveway. They were closer to each other now that Alexa was living on the outskirts of town with her husband, Max. I felt a little pang in my heart as to not being able to get out here as much since I didn’t have a car, but the girls were always so great about coming into downtown to see me so we could hang out.
I didn’t have to knock on the door before both girls greeted me with much needed hugs and an already made drink.
“Do I want to know what’s in this?”
“Just drink it.” Alexa tipped the cup in my hand so that I took a long sip, and oh did the fruity concoction burn. I was definitely sleeping here tonight. I kicked off my shoes and made my way to the living room where there were movies, drinks, candy, and pizza all lined up. I was ready for a long night.
“Go change into some pjs and then we’ll get started.” I did as I was told and made my way back down stairs to already see one of my favorite Austen movies on the screen,Pride and Prejudice. Ugh, Mr. Darcy, such unrealistic expectations, but yet, still somehow reminding me of Greg. Or was he Mr. Bingley?
“Move over.” I sandwiched between Erica and Alexa and grabbed for the nearest blanket while placing three slices of pizza onto a plate and grabbing for my drink, which I had left on the coffee table.
“Don’t be so pushy.” Alexa shoved at my arm.
“I’ll be pushy if I wanna.” I gave her a full view of my very full mouth— pizza, crust, sauce, and all of it just mush in my mouth.
“No wonder you have problems with Greg.” She laughed at the comment, but my heart took a hit. I sank down into the couch, just like I had in the counseling session, admitting defeat. Maybe this was why Greg and I were having problems. Maybe it wasn’t him, but was me.
“She didn’t mean that!” Erica shushed Alexa from talking and grabbed for my shoulder, bringing me closer to her. “Tell us what happened.”
Alexa moved the plate from my lap and moved to my side, bringing us all into a clump on the couch. I leaned my head on Erica’s shoulder and let a tear slip out. More were building up to escape me, but I needed to get this out first.
“Thursday night when I got home,” I felt another tear drop, “we had amazing hot sex that was something out of a romance novel.”
I sat up between the girls.
“Like I never knew things like that could be done with my body, that I could feel things like that, or have that many orgasms.” Both girls joined into my giggle fit, but another tear rolled down my face because, even though I was joking, I was still hurting. “But today when we went to our session, he wouldn’t admit that we didn’t actuallytalkabout what happened on Thursday. He was all butt hurt that I called him out on it. We went from walking into the office holding hands to being on opposite sides of the couch and me walking out without him by my side.”
“That’s it, babe?” Alexa looked at me wearily and I knew that what I said didn’t seem to be something that was too bad, but it felt bad to me.
“Not just that, now we have to go on a date before our next session.”
“That’s not bad.” Erica turned me towards her to try to light up the conversation. “From what you’ve told us, you two do great on dates.”
“We have to go on a date with another person.” I dropped the news on the girls and they were silent. I thought back to when Greg and I had looked at each other in Tessa’s office and how I thought that we weren’t going to be doing this, but how Greg seemed almost excited by asking Tessa more about the date now had me worried. Would he be texting me tonight to tell me all the details of what he was going to do? Or would it be tomorrow night?
“Why would your counselor suggest that?” Alexa tried to sooth me by rubbing my arm up and down.
“It wasn’t a suggestion; we have to do it. Anything we do, and don’t do, goes to the judge.” I straightened myself up.
“I still have no idea why she would suggest it.” Alexa said..
“She asked us about our fears for the relationship. Greg basically said he didn’t want to see me with another man and I said I was afraid of him leaving me. To her that equated us going on a date with someone else so we could make our fears come true and then work it out from there. Don’t ask me how it’s supposed to work because I have no fucking idea.”
“I get it.” Erica chimed in.
“You do?” Alexa leaned over me to ask Erica.
“You and Greg have always just been able to do what ever it is you want without any real consequences. For example, this marriage, well this time it isn’t like that. You two need to look at if you want this to be a permanent thing or if you want it to end. You can’t just live in the middle and I think that’s what Tessa is trying to get out of this. To show you both exactly what it is you are looking for, and that’s each other.”
I stared at Erica once she was finished, baffled that all of those words had came out of her. I swore it was like any time she talked the heavens opened up and the best knowledge was spoken into existence. I wished for a moment that she was my counselor rather than Tessa.
“All I know is that I don’t want this process to go on longer than the end of the month. Yeah, Greg and I do dates well, but do we do long term? Yeah, we’ve been friends for years, but we haven’t been around each other all day every day like a couple does. We get to go home to our separate apartments and leave each other behind at the end of the work day. I just don’t know how we are going to get there by the end of this time frame, but damn it, I’m determined to make it happen.”
I reached over to grab for my cup of alcohol. I was sure Alexa had made this drink since it was all liquor with a splash of juice.
“What are you going to do?” Erica questioned.
“I have no idea, but I don’t plan on going on a date with another man.” I looked between Erica and Alexa, taking in their sympathetic eyes.
“But is he going to go on a date with another woman?” Alexa’s question bothered me because I didn’t know. The more I thought about that look I saw on his face in Tessa’s office, the more I had no clue as to what plan Greg had for this weekend.
All I knew at that moment was that I wanted to shove this pizza in my mouth and set my phone on silent, because I knew for sure that, if I got a text from Greg saying he was going on a date with some other woman, my heart would be shattered.
