Curiosity was creeping in on me as we continued the drive through town to find parking. Questions formed in my head, and I was thankful Greg was the first to break the silence in the car. I wanted to know about the kiss Greg and I shared this morning, the laughter we had shared while at his parents’ house, and why he had left me alone at work all week.Work.
“Why weren’t you at work the last few days?” I maneuvered myself in the seat to face Greg. He was staring straight ahead, almost like he hadn’t heard the very loud question I had asked. I waved my hand in front of his face to try to get his attention, but he shooed it away and kept his focus on the road.
“You can’t ignore me.” I watched as his grip on the steering wheel tightened, knuckles turning white. It reminded me of how I was driving in Vegas. Calm. Collected. Nervous. Frustrated.
“I came up here to visit Mom and Dad.” I sat back in my seat. “I needed to stay away from you. You distract me and I was upset.”
I waited for him to continue.
“I knew if I was around you, I wouldn’t be able to think straight.” He took one hand off the steering wheel and flexed his fingers, and then did the same with the other hand. “I went to the therapist early yesterday, too, to try to talk things out. I knew I was in the wrong and that I overreacted, but you had talked so openly about what we had done and it didn’t seem like you even cared that it happened. That it was just some guy you had been with. Well, I’m not just some guy, Lilly.”
I was shrinking down into my seat with every word he said. He had come up here to his family for two days to get away from me, and then came back into town, knowing fully that he would be coming back up for family dinner. He came back. He wanted to be present for the counseling session, but still, he had left. He had run and that frightened me the most. He had left just because of some words I said, not even actions, and he ran like the wind and left me in the dust without even a goodbye.
I didn’t comment back on what I was feeling or thinking. No matter what I said right now, I would seem like the bad guy because that’s what it seemed like in his head, and in all truth, that’s what I was. I was the one pushing us apart, and his actions only solidified my choices, solidified that I needed to be the bad guy in this relationship in order for us both to survive it.
“We’re here.” Greg clipped his words at me as he parked the car. He got out and slammed the door. We were parallel parked at the curb in front of Adale’s shop, right in the middle of town. I stepped out of the car, mesmerized by the sight of the town of Helen getting ready for the holidays. They seemed to always skip Halloween and Thanksgiving and jump right into the Christmas spirit. A smile formed as I took in the scenes in front of me.
Kids were playing in the square, couples walked along the storefronts, and an older couple sat on a bench to the side, acting like no one else in the world mattered. This was why I loved this place. You could get lost here and never go back to reality.
“You coming?” Greg yelled from behind me, and the frustration I had felt before came back. My little bubble burst. I turned around and there he was, leaning against the guardrail at the top of the steps that led to the front door of the shop, arms crossed over his chest and a huge smile on his face as he scanned over the town just as I had. His eyes came back down to mine and, though the smile faltered, I could see it wasn’t because of me, but because of the uncertainty of us. I knew then that even though Greg would never admit it, he was just as scared of this as I was and knew that anything could happen between us.
I took the steps two at a time and entered the shop with Greg holding the door open for me. The second I entered, I was hit with the smell of cinnamon mixed with fire. The kiln was towards the back of the shop, so the further we went, the more the smells intensified.
I walked up to the front desk and rang the chime that was waiting there so Adale knew someone was in the store. She ran her glass shop on her own, and ninety percent of the time she was in the back of the shop if she didn’t have any customers.
“I’ll be right with you!” The little pipsqueak of a voice traveled through the shop from the back and soon enough, out came Adale. She was short, under five foot, but packed a punch when she walked into a room. She was pale with long thin blonde hair and baby blue eyes that stopped anyone in their tracks. She was the sweetest woman I had ever met and her being only in her forties meant that I could know her that much longer.
“Lilly!” She didn’t just shout my name, she yelled it at me as she sprinted towards me and collided into a hug that both of us clung to. I had missed this woman so much. Every time I came for family dinner night, we always made a stop to see Adale. She didn’t have family, so I tried to make her feel like she always had us. The guilt I had felt from seeing Greg’s family last night sank in again as I continued to hug Adale. I just hoped I hadn’t let her down.
“Adale.” Greg coughed out her name, but she still didn’t break from me.
“I’ll get to you in a moment sir.” Adale moved back from our hug. She didn’t let me go fully, though. She grabbed both my hands and dragged me towards the right side of the shop where she housed her Christmas ornaments on a gorgeous fresh fir tree. “I have some new ornaments to show you.”
The first thing that caught my eye was a star that was at the top of the tree, black and white swirls with gold glitter. Each point was twisted at the end, making it look sleek, but elegant. The next one was an ornament that happened to be positioned at my eye level. It was an intertwining ‘G’ and ‘L.’ I pretended like I hadn’t seen it as Adale ushered me closer to the tree, showing me a ballerina, a new dog she had made, and even a black rose.
“They’re lovely, Adale.” I reached out to touch the black rose.
“I thought you might say that.” She winked at me and pointed towards the counter where she had set a bag to the side.
“Adale…” I didn’t know what to say to her generosity.
“Oh, hush.” She shooed me back towards the front of the shop to where Greg was waiting for us.
“I told you she had some new things you would want to see.” The twinkle in Greg’s eye made it seem like he knew the ornament with our initials was sitting on the tree behind me, not that Adale had a black rose sitting in the bag on the counter. “We should probably get going. I have a few more shops for us to stop by.”
“Just make sure to come back a few more times before the end of the year, darling.” Adale pulled me into another hug and this time I didn’t want to let go because, just as with Greg’s parents, I didn’t know when or if I would be coming back and I really didn’t feel like letting anyone down this morning.
“We’ll see what we can do, Adale.” Greg answered the same way he had to his dad, and I was quickly ushered out of the store without another word, carrying a bag of handmade Christmas ornaments. Greg didn’t walk us towards the car but instead we made our way down the side road to whatever shop he had in mind next. We went in to see Ricky at the local book shop, Margot at the flower shop and then, as we headed towards the candy shop Greg stopped us abruptly.
We stood there holding hands as if this was something normal for us. Before I realized what was happening, Greg pulled me into the small alcove between the bread and candy shops. He took the gifts from my hand and gently set the bag on the ground before turning back to me and taking my mouth with his.
Greg pushed me up against the brick wall that snagged my shirt, causing it to ride up. Greg’s fingers tightened into my jeans, but I could feel the heat from him as if I were standing fully naked in the brisk morning of the Georgia Mountains. As much as I needed to think about how this shouldn’t work, it was in these moments that I knew Greg and I could work in the best possible ways, but my fear of him leaving me always seemed to creep back up at the worst times. This time I wasn’t going to let it.
I broke from the kiss but not to catch my breath. I stared down at Greg with my bottom lip caught between my teeth. He shifted me down a little and I could feel his hard erection between my thighs. I wiggled myself against him, releasing the moan from him that I didn’t know I was so desperate to hear.
He ground his hips into me and I prayed that no one would decide at this moment in time that they needed candy or bread this early in the morning. Greg’s eyes darkened before he latched himself onto my neck. I leaned back and the bun I had put up this morning saved me from the hard wall. I let Greg suck on me but had my hands pressed to his chest, ready to push him away when I had had too much. I wanted control of this situation, even though I knew Greg had complete control over me.
“You’re playing with fire, Greg.” His mouth detached for one-second.
