“What other explanation is there? We were fine for years.”
“Because of distractions.” He regards me with a look I haven’t seen before. “You were finishing school. I was entering the league. Don’t you see how special you are to me?”
The weeks apart have been unbearable, but they’re a far better option than the alternative should things crash and burn. Nothaving Antonio in my life wouldn’t just hurt; it would change the DNA of my future.
He’s the one I went to when I was stressed with school, the one who’d listen to my engineering rants. He’s the person who reminds me there’s more to life than structures and equations.
Marcela is right: He’s my person.
I expel a long breath. “What if you get tired of whatever it is we’re doing?”
Antonio unfolds himself from his chair. He pulls me to my feet and wraps me in his cologne-scented hug.
“We can’t go back. You know it, and so do I,” he soothes, kissing the top of my head. “If you knew how long I’ve wanted you. You’re the first person I think of when I wake up and my last thought before I go to sleep. Our friendship is our foundation, not the ceiling. There is no pressure because it’s us, Doe.”
His grip tightens against my waist, molding my body to his. No scientific principle will help me make the right decision. My heart has to take the lead.
“Can we take it slow?”
“I’m on your time,” he whispers into my curls. “We go at your pace. No pressure, remember?”
“Just us,” I repeat to release the weight of the what-ifs caving in my chest.
“Miriam, if I have you, I want all of you. Give Dickhead his walking papers before I send a cane to his house.”
A cane?
Antonio’s eyes slide down to mine with an expression that has me cackling.
“You’re serious?” I muffle a laugh.
“I don’t play about you.”
“We went out because he bid on himself so he could take me to dinner. He let me use the Maple King lab after—”
“At night?”
“No sunlight was in the sky,” I confirm, rolling my lips at his scowl. “I’m not the one with the reputation of slinging dick across states. Remind me who should be worried?”
“I haven’t been with another woman since I ran into you at the MLK celebration.” He has the nerve to look offended.
“And Ms. Pon de Replay?” I hike a brow. “You two love putting on for the cameras.”
Whatever fear shifts to a premeditated felony at the thought of Antonio swiping his player card like a Costco membership.
“You’re wild for ‘Pon de Replay.’ She’s not an issue.” He snickers and shakes his head. If the Rihanna song fits. “Setting boundaries with Kenya will be easy because I already have. Outside of interviews and the dinner for your sister’s fundraiser, there’s no reason for us to see each other. I wouldn’t pursue you if I still wanted to fuck other people.”
“You better set boundaries if you want access to me.¿Qué crees?” I scoff, my lips balled like a fist. “If you think you get to hop around in booty shorts—”
“Booty shorts?” Antonio’s head tips back with a laugh.
“—and hump on whoever while you’re home or away, forget it.”
The Buffalo Steel would need to replace their star flanker. Permanently. Thoughts of sex tapes and secret families in Iowa cloud my vision just to piss me off.
“Doe!” He cackles like his mother wouldn’t iron her favorite suit if he tried it. “I respect you and what we have too much. No one will come between us, I promise you that. I can’t take back what’s in the past, but I can protect our future.” He pecks my lips. “I’m already committed to you. Trust me please. We’ll go at your pace, okay?”
“Okay,” I say.
