“You enjoy breaking things, don’t you?”
“Sometimes.”
Loathing burned in her eyes now. “Do you want Albia to collapse?”
“Maybe it should. Maybe none of us deserve it.”
“I’ll not stand by and let the darkness swallow us,” she shot back. “Unlike you, Icareabout this world.”
“Do you?” He couldn’t help but take the bait. “Or are you just wanting to put the Marav back in control again?” He flashed her a goading smile, even as a voice in the back of his head warned him against taunting her. “Face it, Lara, you play the role of the protective High Queen … but in reality, you’re just as self-serving as the rest of us.”
She snarled something then. His words had hit a raw nerve.
And then, a heartbeat later, the dam burst.
Dull iron flashed, and an instant later, she’d closed the gap between them. One hand fisted the collar of his leather vest.
The other held a cold thin blade to his throat.
11: I DESERVE WORSE
“I’VE IMAGINED THIS moment so many times.” Lara marveled at how steady her voice was. Her temper had boiled over, heat pulsing under her ribs. Fury yanked like a beast on a leash, and yet she was in control. “You taught me much during our marriage … especially how to turn resentment into a weapon. Ever since you betrayed me, I’ve hardly slept. Instead, I lie awake thinking about killing you.”
Alar stared down at her, his eyes wide. They were standing so close, she could see the flecks of charcoal in amongst theiron-grey of his irises. He hadn’t realized it, but his words had yanked her right back to The Heather Path, to the things it had shown her. And this time, she’d reacted.
“You’re a lot faster than I remember,” he murmured. He didn’t move though. Not with her blade pressing against his windpipe.
“I’ve been practicing.” The urge to press the knife in hammered into her. “And during every session, I imagine I’m cutting up your smug, sneering face.”
He didn’t reply. Indeed, her own venom surprised her.Gods. She didn’t sound like herself at all. And yet, the rage was liberating. Anger and bitterness had built a prison around her over the past year, but she’d just broken free. She’d walked that cursed greenway and been faced with the twisted truth. Now, she’d own her darkness.
“Food has lost its taste. I no longer enjoy warm sun on my face or appreciate a cup of sweet plum wine,” she went on, the words tumbling out of her now. She hadn’t realized her hatred went so deep, yet it did. “My need for reckoning is all that matters. And I don’t care if I die getting it. You will pay, Half-blood.”
He swallowed, carefully. There was no taunting light in his eyes now.
Her venom shocked him.
“Do it,” he replied, his voice roughening. “You’ll never get a better chance. Take your revenge now.”
White-hot rage consumed her then, blotting out all reason. All sense. She pressed the blade harder against his throat. Blood welled against iron. And as she watched, crimson trickled down his pale skin.
Surprisingly, he didn’t flinch. Instead, his stillness unnerved her. “Again,” he said quietly. “If it helps.”
“Don’t tempt me,” she ground out, even as she leaned into the dagger. Blood welled again, more of it now, running over the iron blade. And still, he didn’t move.
“I deserve worse.”
Lara stiffened, even as her fingers flexed around the dagger’s bone hilt. Finally. There was complete honesty in his voice. He’d dropped the arrogance, the taunting. There was no barrier between them now. “You do.”
But even as she whispered the words, something inside her shifted.
The bastard wasn’t supposed to submit to her like this. She wanted him to fight, to sneer, so she could enjoy watching him bleed out over the pine needles. His submission disturbed her. Revenge didn’t feel like victory when he offered himself up for it.
Neither of them moved. Instead, they stared at each other. It was a moment of raw honesty, and she didn’t want it. She didn’t want any closeness between them. Hatred was easier.
“Lucky for you, we need the three of us to perform the binding at The Shattered Crown,” she said finally. “My reckoning will have to wait.”
“You’re wasting an opportunity,” he replied softly. “It won’t be so easy to catch me unawares next time, Lara.”
