Alar stirred awake, his own eyes opening. When he saw Lara, he stilled.
Embarrassed, Lara cleared her throat. “Sorry for waking you up,” she said softly.
He stretched before wincing as his shoulder announced itself. Gingerly, he rolled it, testing it. “It’s late … is something wrong?”
Her pulse started to thunder in her ears. Suddenly, she felt foolish. Tongue-tied. Maybe it would be easier if she just blurted everything out.
“I need to tell youwhyI love you.”
He eyed her, his brow furrowing. “I thought you didn’t know.”
“Well, I do now.” Gods, she wished she didn’t sound so breathless.
His gaze softened, tenderness sparking in its depths. “You don’t need to do this.”
She shook her head. Aye, she did.
“You’ve always believed in me, even when I doubted myself,” she began softly. “You listen. When you’re at my side, I can take on the world.” She paused, feeling lightheaded now. “Like tonight.”
“That was a strong speech,” he replied. “I didn’t have anything to do with it.”
She took a step closer. “You’re wrong. You’ve opened my eyes to many things … even when I didn’t want to see them.” She paused then, her pulse fluttering. “You told me that Albia was changing … and that I couldn’t put things back to how they once were, do you remember that?”
He nodded, his gaze veiling.
“Well, you were right. The old order died with my father. Why would I want to continue it?”
“I was harsh.”
“You spoke the truth. I like that about you … the way you say things others don’t. You have an ancient wisdom … one I want to learn.”
He made a noise in the back of his throat.
She took another step forward. “You are a part of me now. Together, we’ve weathered betrayal, darkness, fire, and blood. We’ve emerged on the other side. Scorched but still alive. I love you, Alar.Allof you. The darkness as well as the light. There’s shadow in all of us.”
“Not in you,” he said huskily.
“Aye,especiallyin me.” Her gaze fused with his, even as her pulse thumped in her ears. “Whether I use fire or not, I’m still a fire-wielder. Madness sleeps in my blood. I must always guard myself against it … and with your help, I will.”
His eyes widened. “What are you saying?”
“When I ride back into Duncrag, I want to do so with you at my side. My husband.”
Alar stared back at her. His chest rose and fell sharply. “You want me back?” His voice was hoarse, his eyes bright.
“Aye.”
He swallowed. “Are you sure?”
Lara shrugged off her cloak, letting it fall to the sheepskins. She then reached down and grabbed the hem of her thin tunic, pulling it over her head so that she stood naked before him. “I’ve never been more certain about anything in my life.”
38: SECOND CHANCES
STANDING UPON THE furs, cool air feathering against her bare skin, Lara let him observe her. And he did, his gaze tracking a hungry path down her body. “I could look at you all night,” he whispered.
She snorted. “Please don’t … it’s not that warm in this alcove.” Indeed, the heat of the smoldering hearth didn’t reach this far. Cold drafts from the gusting wind outdoors pushed in through cracks in the stone and around the curtain that shielded them from the rest of the roundhouse.
“You’d better come here then,” he replied huskily.
