Harriet crossed her arms, musing. “Only a very fine gentleman could have married you.” She became still. Cautiously, she said, “Mr. Elton?”
“No!” Anger drew me rigid—at myself for letting him hurt Harriet, and at him for hurting me. “Mr. Elton is vile. We shall both despise him forever.” I shook my head to drive him from my thoughts and felt curls rustle. “Marriage does not interest me. But if I married, it would be someone far better mannered. And richer.Andmore handsome.”
Harriet giggled. “Like Mr. Darcy! But you are tired of Darcys.”
A memory rushed to mind—Mr. Knightley defending me from the violence by the river. But that hardly seemed well mannered.
I filled my lungs and sighed it all back out again. “It is Bennets who are wearing me down. Perhaps I can find a lost Darcy cousin. Then at dinner, Lizzy will call out ‘Darcy!’ and the whole table will turn.” Harriet gave an impertinent laugh, which cheered me up. Enough talk of marriage. “The Darcys have bound a dragon.”
Harriet leaned from her perch on the bed to see me better. “Truly?” I nodded. Her face lit. “Oh, it is like Princess Una and her Redcrosse dragon!”
“I do not think Lizzy battled the Errour crawler. But, yes. It is secret, of course. Like everything here.”
The last of the churning scarlet had drained while we talked. My shame had drained with it. All that was left was Emma Woodhouse, sitting on a bed. The space inside my ribs and limbs felt hollowed, but not empty. I was lighter, like a bird.
“Did youseethe dragon?” Harriet pressed. “Is it as big as a horse, like Princess Una’s?”
I raised my eyebrows dramatically. “Bigger!”
“I should love to see it!”
“It is a ‘him.’ Lizzy’s maid has visited, so I am sure Lizzy will take you. I will not go, though.”
“Is he too frightening?”
Each time Yuánchi’s gem eyes had met mine, they had pulled at my soul. “He is too wonderful.”
“Oh. May we stay in London, then? With our friends?”
While I had stood, enthralled that this hallowed creature sought me, Lizzy’s face had been wretched. “We are too dependent on our friends. I will ask Lizzy to recommend lodgings in London, and we will move there.”
Firmly, Harriet said, “I wish to visit Mrs. Darcy’s school.”
“We have already agreed to that.” I touched Harriet’s hand. “We will visit the Darcys. But we had a purpose in visiting London. I must establish your right to bind.”
"Why do you think Icanbind?”
“It only matters that society thinks you can bind. Then you can marry a gentleman.”
“What if I do notwishto marry a gentleman?” Harriet said stubbornly.
She had dared formidable London and survived terrors. Naturally, she would have new ideas. But obligation burned in my breast. I had failed Papa. I would not fail her.
“I shall not give you any advice,” I said slowly. “Only remember that a woman is never secure without a proper marriage. Even my own situation is precarious.” Harriet frowned. I interlaced my fingers, pressed my gloves snug until my knuckles ached, and chose to reveal more. “Papa became fond of you in his last year. He felt as I do. He wished you would marry a gentleman.”
Harriet cocked her head. “That is considerate. I do miss him. He was a nice old man.” She sighed good-naturedly. “Shall we ask Mary for help, then?”
“That is mylastresort. Mary Bennet dislikes me.” Harriet’s surprise was so innocent that I laughed. “I am quite convincing on my own. I will write a letter tonight and post it before breakfast. Let us see what I stir up.”
12
THE MARTIN SCHOOL
EMMA
Before breakfast,I found Lizzy writing a letter in a well-lit nook, her hair loosely gathered.
No, not a letter. There were columns of numbers in a thick volume. She saw my glance and said, “Monthly accounts for the school. I have the habit from when I helped Papa at Longbourn. I suppose that sounds odd.”
