“Dorothea,” he called in warning.
“She’s fine,” Catriona chimed in. “She adores water. She won’t fall in.”
“She already did once. Who’s to say that she won’t again?”
“Me,” Catriona said simply.
He gave her a look, and she only smiled confidently at him.
“Daddy!” Dorothea came running up to them, gripping a bunch of dandelions in her hand. “Look at these! Aren’t they pretty?”
Joseph studied the drooping weeds in her hand with a tiny frown. “Do you know what those are?”
“Flowers.” Dorothea’s smile slipped with uncertainty. “Don’t you like them?”
“I think they are lovely, Dorothea,” Catriona chimed in. “Are these your favorite flowers for today?”
Dorothea nodded. “I think so.” Then she turned her attention back to Joseph, eyes seeped with hope. “Don’t you like them, Daddy? I know they aren’t as pretty as roses, but maybe we could take a few back to the manor?”
His heart twisted in his chest. Dorothea truly thought that the rose was his favorite flower. She didn’t know the reason he’d always had them around, didn’t know the length he’d gone to to keep her mother alive.
What wouldn’t he do to keep that innocence, if only for a short while longer?
He’d always known her to be an observant and intelligent little girl, but there was still so much she didn’t know, so much he wanted to protect her from. But how could he do that when he was absent so much of the time? How could he have possibly thought that he was doing his best to fill the void in her life while creating another?
He didn’t have a clue how he was going to do better. He didn’t know how to change. But he understood that he was being presented with an opportunity he couldn’t allow to slip him by.
“I think they’re beautiful,” he told her, and the smile that stretched across her face could have warmed all of England in the middle of winter. “Do you know what they’re called?”
Dorothea shook her head.
“Dandelions,” he told her. “They are known as outcasts in the world of flowers, but I think that is a part of their charm, isn’t it?”
“Yes, quite!” she chirped. She pointed a finger at one of them. “They don’t have nearly as many petals as the other flowers.”
“Why don’t we find one that does? I think there should be a few around here.”
“Yes, let’s!” In her excitement, Dorothea began bouncing on her feet, grin broad and bright.
Joseph stood and took her hand in his. For some reason, he looked back at Catriona. He didn’t know why. He didn’t need her permission nor her approval to spend some alone time with his daughter. But he felt a question in his heart, one he didn’t quite understand, when he looked at her.
And to see her face lit up with such pleasure and warmth filled him with the very same.
“Do you want to come with us?” Dorothea asked her, but Catriona shook her head.
“You two go ahead,” she urged. “I will be here with my book. But don’t be too long now, or else the food will get cold.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Joseph couldn’t help but say, which earned him a giggle from Dorothea and a pretty smile from Catriona.
“Come on, Daddy!” Dorothea pushed, pulling Joseph along. He let her lead her over to the river, but when she knelt by the bank to gather more weeds, he didn’t feel any trepidation. No fear.
This was peace, he realized. And he couldn’t believe he’d gone so long without it.
CHAPTER 19
“Ithink she’s tired herself out.”
Catriona glanced up from the book she’d spent the last twenty minutes trying to focus on, looking over at Joseph. It was hard trying to read when he sat so close to her, when she could feel the warmth of his body and smell the musk of his cologne. Every ounce of her wanted to lean into him, if only to feel his touch. She yearned for something she’d never truly experience, something she could not stop imagining ever since the day they were married.
