Catriona forced herself to move, going to sit in one of the armchairs closest to his desk. She gave herself a moment to find her words before she looked back at him. “Joseph, I would like to apologize.”
“Apology accepted.”
Catriona blinked. “You haven’t even heard the reason why.”
“The reason does not matter. I can tell that you’re being sincere right now, and I would much rather accept the apology and move on so that we are not stuck in this uncomfortable stalemate with each other.”
Oh, heavens. At this rate, the butterflies in her stomach were going to fight their way right through. “You should give me the chance to get the words out at the very least.”
It might have been her imagination, but she thought she saw the side of his lips twitch. She couldn’t fathom what was funny about this conversation, however. “Then by all means, Catriona.”
She thinned her lips. “Well, it has lost much of its luster at this point but… I would like to apologize for overstepping my boundaries that day. I won’t let it happen again.”
Joseph only stared at her for a long moment. Catriona frowned slightly.
“Now would be the right time to give your acceptance,” she told him.
“I am reconsidering it,” he murmured.
“Was it not up to your standards, Joseph?” she asked, sounding slightly annoyed. This time, his lips most definitely twitched.
“There was certainly room for improvement.”
“That is too bad. I have apologized, and that is all you will receive from me.” She stood stiffly. “If you do not wish to accept it, then I suppose there is nothing I can do about it.”
She began making her way back to the door, feeling endlessly frustrated at both herself and him. This wasn’t how she’d expected this conversation to go. She thought she would be able to apologize, he would accept, and things would go back to normal. That they would be able to talk with each other with the same ease they had before. But she was so on edge that she couldn’t quite tell if he was serious, and she wasn’t interested in sticking around to figure it out.
“There is one thing.”
Pure curiosity is what stopped her halfway to the door. “And what is that?”
Joseph pushed himself to stand, slowly making his way to her. He came closer than she expected him to. Catriona held her breath, her heart stopping in her chest when Joseph brushed her arm with his hand.
“Come with me.”
And then he was moving past her, leaving the room, leaving her staring after him and wondering if she had imagined the tension smoldering between them.
She followed when she came back to herself. Joseph had slowed his pace enough for her to catch up to him. She considered asking him where they were going, but she had a feeling he would only be vague until they arrived, so she said nothing, walking one step behind him so that she could get herself together in peace.
The situation was dire, she realized. More and more, this was feeling less and less like a stoic marriage and more like something she’d never allowed herself to imagine. She didn’t dare do so now, didn’t dare let her mind wander to what could have been if the walls between them crumbled. It was easier said than done, however.
Joseph led her all the way out to the gardens. Catriona didn’t realize where they might be going until they were almost there.
“What do you want to show me?” she asked, getting a little nervous now. They were getting closer to her little secret with Dorothea.
“I’m sure you must have picked up on it by now,” he drawled without looking back at her. “You are smarter than that.”
“I’m not sure what you mean,” Catriona murmured. But she did know. They’d been caught.
Joseph came to stop in front of the small square of turned earth then faced her with a raised brow in question. Catriona only matched it.
“Yes?” she asked.
“Do you care to explain?”
“Not particularly, no.”
His lips widened into a wan, mirthless smile. “It seems to me like you have been rather busy. And seeing that you’d asked for one hour a day, I thought that this was what you were doing during that time.”
