“And what of tonight?” she asked before he could step away from her. It was a desperate grab at something though she didn’t know what. But that hope flared to life when he paused to look at her instead of marching away like he could have.
“You wished to have one hour a day for yourself, did you not? You are more than welcome to use it however you wish. I will leave you to it.”
With that, he walked away, leaving her staring after him. When the door closed behind him, Catriona sighed. She tried shoving away that wave of disappointment, irrational as it was, but it was a nearly impossible feat.
Yet another evening dining alone, she thought as she left the drawing room. She didn’t think she would ever get used to it. In a place like this, however, it was quite possible that she would have no choice.
Joseph didn’t leave his bedchamber until he was certain that Catriona had retired to bed. He slipped into the hallway, pausing at her door when he noticed the faint glow of light coming from underneath it. She was still moving about inside, and that knowledge tempted him to knock. He didn’t have anything to say, had no reason to be at her door so late at night, but the urge was still there, growing overwhelming by the second.
What would she say when she found out that his bedchamber was directly next to hers? Or did she already know? Did she sometimes listen for him like he did her?
Joseph shook his head, shaking off the unreasonable feelings. This was getting out of hand.
He moved away from the door, feeling calmer the further away he got, but it didn’t rid him of that uneasy feeling in the center of his chest, the one that had been brewing there ever since their conversation in the drawing room.
Because apparently, he adored roses.
God, how could he have been so blind? He’d been so caught up in ensuring that Dorothea was taken care of, that she learned how to be the very best, that he hadn’t noticed what was right in front of him.
Dorothea’s bedchamber was quiet, the door slightly ajar because she never liked to sleep with it close. Joseph knew that she had taken an early dinner and retired to bed an hour ago, not through first-hand knowledge but only because Dorothea’s governess had informed him of such. He didn’t mind receiving the updates. As a matter of fact, he welcomed them, thinking it meant that he was being present in his child’s life even though he was so busy. How foolish of him. How negligent.
Dorothea was fast asleep, curled on one side. Guilt wracked him. She looked so much like her mother, the mother she never truly knew. Nothing like the father she thought she did.
Slowly, he sat on the side of her bed and reached out to brush a stray lock of hair from her face. Dorothea’s eyes immediately drifted open.
“Daddy?” she murmured before shifting onto her back to look at him. Her eyes were clear, as if he hadn’t just pulled her out of deep sleep.
“I’m sorry for waking you,” he whispered. “I did not mean to.”
Slowly, she sat up, her hair falling around her shoulders. Joseph had always been proud of how mature she was for her age but now he couldn’t but wonder if seven-year-old child should be looking at him with such seriousness.
“Is something wrong?” she asked softly, almost tentatively.
“Nothing’s wrong,” he assured her. “I was just checking on you. Now go back to sleep.”
Dorothea thinned her lips, brows furrowing slightly. She didn’t believe him, but she must have been too tired because she didn’t argue. She only lay on her side, this time facing him, and closed her eyes as she let out a soft sigh.
Joseph rested his hand against her head, stroking gently, waiting for her breathing to slow down. After a few seconds, Dorothea took his hand from her hair and clutched it to her chest like she would a doll.
He didn’t know how long he stayed there. It might have been an hour, likely more, but he knew that by the time he left, he felt more resolved. Catriona wouldn’t have to tell him Dorothea’sfavorite flower every day because he would be there to learn it himself.
CHAPTER 14
“Pardon me, Your Grace.”
Catriona glanced up from her watercolor painting to see the butler standing behind her. They were in the garden, and the sun was behind him, casting a shadow on his serious countenance. “Yes?”
“Misses Ava and Maisie Wallace are here to see you.”
Catriona nearly dropped her paintbrush, a smile stretching across her face. “Please show them to me,” she told him, and he was off with a nod.
Catriona watched him for a few seconds before she returned her attention to her painting. But she knew there was no more hope of focusing on her watercolors now that she knew her sisters had come to pay her a visit. She’d been at it for some time now, trying her best to paint a lily from memory, since Dorothea had informed her that morning during breakfast that that was herfavorite flower for the day. But she wasn’t having much luck. She’d never been very artistic.
So, she put her brush aside and waited. She didn’t have to wait long, however, because in a matter of minutes, she spotted Ava and Maisie making their way down the stone path towards her. The moment her sisters spotted her, they let out identical squeals and took off running.
Catriona rushed ahead to meet them. Ava was quicker, throwing her arms around Catriona’s neck with such force that they both nearly toppled over. Maisie arrived just in time, wrapping her arms around them both and stopping them from falling to the ground in their excitement.
“Oh, I missed you two!” Catriona panted. Between Maisie and Ava, she could hardly breathe properly, but she didn’t mind very much.
