“But what will Daddy say?”
“It will be our little secret,” Catriona said in a low voice. “He doesn’t have to know.”
Intrigue filled Dorothea’s eyes. Catriona could almost hear the internal conflict happening in the young girl’s mind, but the moment resolve flooded her cherubic features, Catriona knew she’d won her over just a little bit more.
“Can we go now?” Dorothea asked quietly, as if she feared being overhead by anyone else. “I am done with my lessons for the day.”
Catriona couldn’t stop her smile. “What of your picture? Don’t you want to finish it?”
“I can finish it later.” Dorothea was already getting to her feet. “We should go now before the sun sets.”
“I’m right behind you,” Catriona said with a laugh. She watched as Dorothea basically skipped over to the door in her excitement. Nina bounded to her feet and trekked after her, throwing one look over her shoulder to ensure that Catriona was following. Catriona made a mental note to speak with Dorothea’s governess so that she did not worry when she returned to the nursery to find her gone, but for now, she focused on Dorothea.
She paid attention to her change in demeanor, that childlike glow that had been sorely missing before. She wanted Dorothea to be like that all time. No child should spend most of their childhood tiptoeing around their parent, afraid to upset them, afraid to speak or act out of turn lest they were not viewed as the perfect child.
Catriona understood how heavy the pressure could be, but in her youth, she had been the one to put it on herself. As the eldest sister, she had put herself in the role of a mother even though there was no expectation for her to do so. She’d missed out on her childhood, had left the chasing and playing and relaxing to her sisters while she’d taken up the mantle of overseer. But she’d never been lonely. And that was one the one thing she vowed to change in this household.
He didn’t need Catriona to stand in the place of Dorothea’s mother. But she realized now, watching Dorothea as she scratched behind Nina’s ears, that trying not to interfere would be quite difficult. For now, however, she would focus on Dorothea and worry about what she would say to Joseph later.
Later came quicker than she expected it to. Catriona walked into the drawing room that evening, intending to pass the time with a book before it was time for dinner, to find Joseph already there with a book in one hand.
She halted at the threshold, holding her breath in the hope that he hadn’t heard her entrance. But she had no such luck. Joseph lifted his head to look at her, and the moment their eyes met, that infuriating host of butterflies she’d thought she’d gotten rid of came rushing back with a vengeance.
“Catriona, you’re here. Good. It saves me the trouble of having to send for you.”
Catriona ventured further, wariness killing those butterflies instantly. “Did you need me for something?” she asked.
Joseph nodded as he leaned back in his seat and gestured for her to come closer. Catriona told herself that she did it only out of curiosity. She told herself that the only reason her heart skipped a beat when he put his book down and gave her his full attention was because she simply hadn’t gotten used to it yet.
“I think it is time for another lesson,” he told her.
That took her by surprise. “A lesson? Now?”
“What better time?”
“Perhaps not when it is so close to dinnertime,” she suggested weakly. She didn’t know why the suggestion was making her so flustered. It wasn’t as if they hadn’t had lessons before. And she was the one who was determined to master the role of a duchess, was she not?
“We can continue the lesson throughout dinner if you wish,” Joseph suggested with ease. “I don’t mind in the slightest. As a matter of fact, the more time we have together, the better.”
Oh goodness.
Catriona shot to her feet, turning her back to him before he noticed the blush on her cheeks. Needing the distance, she marched over to the closest bookshelf, pretending she was looking for something to read even though she couldn’t focus on anything else but him.
“I cannot imagine what kind of lesson could possibly last all throughout dinner,” she managed to say without stumbling over her words. God knew her heart was stumbling over itself.
“You’d be surprised, actually. Have you ever hosted a ball?”
“Joseph, I had never even attended a ball until the night at Lady Henderson’s. I’m sure you know the answer to that question.”
Despite her snarky response, he chuckled. The sound was still so new, still so surprising, that it caught her by surprise. When she looked back at him, his smile was slowly disappearing, but his eyes still sparkled with something she hadn’t realized had been missing before. Life.
“My thoughts exactly, but it would have been rather rude of me to simply assume as much. So that will be our next lesson. I shall teach you how to throw a ball. One of the duties of a duchess is knowing how to be a proper hostess after all. One cannot expect the Duchess of Irvin to only attend society’s events without throwing one of her own.”
Catriona reached for a random book and was happy that it happened to be a book of poetry. It was not her favorite thing to read, but she doubted she would find anything of substance. Though, she also doubted that she would be able to focus enough to read anything anyway.
Holding the book to her chest as if it would be enough ward off the frustrating emotions, she made her way back to her seat across from Joseph. She didn’t miss the fact that he was watching her the entire way.
“Very well,” she agreed at last. “You do make a fair point, but I do not know what we could possibly accomplish today. It would be far better to take care of the lesson in the morning.”
