“Oh goodness, you are rather stubborn, aren’t you?”
“I thought you liked my stubbornness,” he said, catching her off guard. Catriona was suddenly glad she’d chosen to distance herself or else he would have most certainly see the way her cheeks brightened under the candlelight. “Or was it just my handsomeness? My charming nature? The fact that I know how to challenge you.”
“I don’t like being challenged.”
“And yet here you are eagerly going back and forth with me about nonsense.” Joseph tilted his head to the side. “This could work, Catriona. We could work. You are a level-headed, pragmatic lady, and you have shown me that you are quite capable of handling our arrangement. We will get what we both wish for out of this marriage without bothersome notions of love. But I cannot help but feel that you are against us truly getting along.”
“On the contrary, I have no issue with getting along with you. In fact, I think it will make my transition here much smoother. Yet you are the one who has upped and abandoned me all day, so perhaps it is you who does not wish to get along with me.”
He rubbed his jaw again. If she didn’t know any better, she would almost think that he looked… contrite. “I do truly feel sorry about that. I was just a bit… irritated.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know,” he said after a long moment.
Catriona didn’t believe that for a second. He knew. He just knew better than to say to her face that she was the reason. “I suppose it is one thing to know you have to marry but another thing entirely to go through the whole ordeal. Had I known you were so disgusted by the thought, I would not have subjected myself to this.”
“No, that’s—--” Joseph broke off, shaking his head. “That is not what I meant.”
“Well, that is what I heard. But there is no need to worry, Joseph. I shan’t be too much of a bother to you. You won’t even know that I am here.”
“Catriona, don’t do this.”
She stood, not knowing what he meant by that and not willing to risk asking. She’d hurt her own feelings enough times today to last her for the weeks to come. And to think, for a moment, she might have thought he felt differently. That the kiss they’d shared had meant the same to him as it did to her.
Feeling ashamed and stupid all of a sudden, Catriona picked up her candle. The one Joseph had been sitting by was already out by now.
“You should get some rest, Joseph,” she told him. “Goodnight.”
He didn’t reach out to grab her this time. Catriona didn’t realize she had been waiting for it until she was walking away from him. She kept going, half expecting him to call her back at the very least.
But he said nothing. He just watched her go until the room was plunged into darkness.
“What do ye think? Ye think it is a good idea?”
Joseph nodded absently, eyes trained on the brown-haired beauty pacing back and forth in the garden. He matched her pace, his arms crossed, moving from one end of the window of his study to the next.
“What do you think she’s doing down there?”
For a few seconds, there was no response to his question, but then Henry appeared by his side, propping an arm against the windowsill as he peered closely to the pane and observed Catriona. Joseph noticed when Henry looked at him, then atCatriona, then back at him, but his attention remained solely on his wife and her odd behavior.
“It looks tae me like she’s pacin’ back and forth,” Henry said at last.
“But why?” Joseph stopped, frowning at her. Catriona was completely unaware of their observation. She moved to one end of the small path, paused, did a dramatic turn, and began marching to the other end. “She’s been at it for nearly ten minutes now. Surely there must be a reason.”
“Ah, so ye havenae been listenin’ tae a word I’ve been sayin’ for the past ten minutes, have ye?” Henry sighed. “Perhaps we should just reconvene this meetin’ another time. Ye’re clearly quite busy.”
The sarcasm in Henry’s voice was apparent, but for once, Joseph couldn’t find it within himself to care. It had been days since his late-night conversation with Catriona in the library. Two days and thirteen hours to be exact though he wasn’t quite sure why he was counting. And he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of her until now.
It wasn’t intentional of course. He was a busy man. He didn’t have the time to coddle his wife when she had a fleet of servants at her beck and call ready to assist her with whatever she needed. She would be fine, especially once she had settled in.
At least, that was what he’d been telling himself. His actions told a completely different story.
Catriona persisted in the back of his mind at all times. He found himself distracted, his mind wandering to places it shouldn’t go. He wondered where she was, what she was doing, if whatever plaguing her mind still ailed her. Too many times in the past two days he’d found himself on the verge of going to find her himself. Immersing himself in his work didn’t seem to be working because all he could think about was her.
God, what was happening?
Joseph watched as Catriona spun on the balls of her feet and continued her trek back to the other side of the path, tapping an impatient finger on his arm. He didn’t like this one bit. Marrying Catriona was meant to be nothing but a formality, one that was expected of him in his role. He needed a wife and a female figure for Dorothea, not a constant distraction. And that was exactly what Catriona had become these past few days.
