“Knew it,” he grins. “The others just don’t have the twisted mind it takes to come up with something like that.”
“Maybe not, but it’s thanks to that twisted mind that you got to escape.”
We laugh again, and for a brief moment, the weight lifts. The tension eases. But I still haven’t changed my mind, walking home is a terrible idea.
Before I can protest, he takes my hand again and holds it tightly. This time, his expression is serious.
“Remi, jokes aside… yeah, I’m tired, but it’s not physical. It’s more like... a mental overload. I took a big risk tonight, and even though it worked out, as soon as it was over, everything I’d been holding in these past few days just... collapsed on me.”
I study his face, my chest tightening. I think back to what Jamie said about the programme. So it’s true, Sebastiandidtake a risk. And he did it alone.
I need to understand.
“What kind of risk? Why didn’t you tell me? You know I would’ve done anything to help you, Seb…”
He hesitates, eyes flicking away for a second. When he speaks, his voice is low, almost reluctant.
“You’ve barely been around lately, Remi. When would I have told you?”
The guilt hits me like a punch to the gut. He’s right. I’ve been a terrible friend. I couldn’t deal with my own feelings, and in trying to outrun them, I ended up hurting him. But that stops now.
“You’re right, Seb. I’ve been a selfish bastard lately. But I swear, it won’t happen again. I had a lot going on in my head and didn’t know how to handle it… but I never meant to hurt you.”
Sebastian looks at me, really looks at me, like he’s trying to read straight through to the centre of me.
“Did you figure it out?”
“I think so,” I say, surprised by the certainty in my voice. “Actually, yeah. I’m sure I did. It wasn’t easy, but… I made the right call.”
His eyes narrow just a little. “You’re talking about Maddie, aren’t you?”
Of course, he sees straight through me. Sebastian’s never been the type to skirt around the truth.
“Yeah, I am. But… can we talk about it at home? You’ve had a long night, and besides, you still haven’t told me what you meant earlier, about taking a risk. ”
He lifts a finger and presses it gently to my lips, silencing me with a touch.
It’s so tender, so impossibly intimate, I almost lean in and kiss it.
Instead, I take his hand in mine and rest it over my chest, right above my heart.
“Okay. You’re right, I can be pushy. I’m listening.”
Seb nods, satisfied, but doesn’t move his hand. He just leaves it there, warm and steady.
“I just need to walk a bit. Get some air. There’s an entrance to Regent’s Park just over there, let’s go for a stroll. I promise I’ll take the tube once we reach Primrose Hill.”
Then he bats his lashes at me, all innocence and charm, and, just to seal the deal, flashes that devastating dimple.
I’m toast.
I throw up my hands with a sigh. “Fine! Let’s walk. But if you feel even slightly off before we get to Primrose Hill, you’ll tell me. Deal?”
“Cross my heart,” he says, drawing an exaggerated X over his chest with his fingers.
I chuckle, shaking my head. “You’re a menace. Who convinced me to take you in, again…?”
The moment the words leave my mouth, I realize what I’ve said. But Seb doesn’t react. If he noticed, he let it slide.
