For weeks, I couldn’t imagine how I would ever feel whole again.
And when he left, he looked just as lost as I felt.
There was no excitement in his eyes.
No spark.
Just sadness.
And doubt.
I tried one last time to stop him. I kissed him, hoping that the closeness might bring him back, even for a moment.
His scent, his warmth, it was all so familiar. But it wasn’t enough.
He got on that plane and left me in pieces.
Eventually, we stopped talking. Maybe that was for the best.
My parents returned to Stratford, and Anne, who has always been the stronger of the two of us, held me together through those first impossible months.
She kept the practicalities running, too. She found someone to take Seb’s place in the flat, a sweet, funny guy named Noah, so we could still afford the rent.
Noah introduced us to his boyfriend, Jamie, and together, they helped bring warmth and laughter back into our home.
They dragged me out to the pub, invited me to gigs, and introduced me to their friends. I resisted at first, but slowly, those outings became a routine, a lifeline.
Meanwhile, my studies at Saint Martins were going well. I poured everything I had into my work.
I was determined not to fall behind.
For the first time in months, I started to feel like myself again.
Not whole, not yet. But stronger. More grounded.
Then, out of nowhere, Sebastian started messaging me.
Just simple texts:How are you?Thinking of you.Hope you're OK.
He never mentioned the past directly. He tiptoed around it, careful not to push.
I wanted to be angry. To cut him off completely.
But I couldn’t.
Deep down, I knew he was hurting too.
We started talking again, slowly. Tentatively. As if we were trying to walk across cracked ice. We built something fragile, but it was enough. Not love, not anymore. But something.
A friendship, maybe. One born of shared history and stubborn affection.
It wasn’t what we used to have, but it was better than nothing.
And I didn’t want to lose him completely.
I still missed him, though.
I missed touching him, kissing him, breathing him in.
